Never Give Up
by MinaParole
Summary: It's been two years since Rachel got off the plane and Ross and Rachel are still madly in love but, is everything perfect in their life?
1. Chapter 1

Hi there! Since I won't be able to update "Fix You" in a while I have decided to post this fic I found in my hard disk and which I had completely forgotten about! I'm sure this is the first one I wrote because the grammar mistakes are endless LOL

It is finished and has about 10 chapters so I'll be posting each chapter in the following weeks. (I can't post them all at once because I need to correct the mistakes, but there'll be at least one every week.)

This is a post finale fic and takes place about two years after Rachel decided to stay (although it doesn't have the same timeline as the show since Rachel will turn 40 in my story.)

Warning: this fic contains more drama than my previous ones.

Anyway, I hope you like it and please comments are appreciated.

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**May 5****th**

Rachel was sleeping peacefully when the bright sun light entering through the window woke her up. She extended her arm searching for her man but she found an empty bed. She opened her eyes slowly and lazily looked around; there was nobody. She stretched herself and when she was about to get up the two people she loved the most in the world came in through the door.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Mommy, happy birhtdayyy to youuuu" there they were, her man carrying a little cake on one hand and holding their daughter with the other while singing for her; she looked at them amazed; her little girl clapped her hands together, full of happiness and, as she escaped from her father's grip, she ran towards her mother, jumped onto the bed and hugged her. After such tender hug she stood up on the bed and with her small hands squeezing her mommy's face she kissed her all over the place. Her little girl's show of affection made her laugh out loud.

"I love you mommy" Emma said between kisses.

"Hey, don't leave me out of this," Ross complained, jealous of not being part of that beautiful scene. He left the cake he was carrying on the bedside table and joined his daughter in the kissing game. Rachel was laughing uncontrollably because of the tickles that Ross' kisses were generating in her neck. Her four and a half-years-old girl kept kissing her face while laughing along with her mother.

"Emma, give mommy that cow kiss I taught you" Emma smiled naughtily and doing what her father said she slid her tongue all over Rachel's cheek.

"Emmaaa stop it!" Rachel whined while tickling her baby girl.

"Daddy, you too" Emma encouraged her dad, he immediately bended over her and started licking her face too.

"Ewwww, cut it out, you two!" Rachel said laughing and pushing him with no success, Ross grabbed her hands and pinned them against the bed to stop her from moving.

"You're not going anywhere." he warned and licked her cheek again, Rachel shook her head from side to side trying to avoid his tongue. They continued with their game until, accidentally, their lips met, and not missing the chance they kissed passionately before the attentive glance of their daughter, who was giggling sweetly. Ross finished the kiss with a peck on her lips and then looked at his daughter.

"What is my little princess laughing at?" He said as he stood up from Rachel's body and hugged his daughter.

"You and mommy" she said smiling and hugging his daddy around his neck.

Rachel looked at the scene amazed. That little girl was the joy of her life and hearing her sweet laugh was like being in heaven. She finally managed to sit upright on the bed.

"Emma, come with mommy" Rachel told her daughter, opening her arms. Emma smiled, walked toward her and sat on her lap. Rachel hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.

"I love you cutie!"

"I love you too mommy" she said kissing her back.

Ross smiled and sat next to Rachel then he took the cake from the bedside table and brought it to Rachel, who looked at it as though it was some kind of disgusting bug.

"Hey! Why that look? It's made of chocolate! You looove chocolate."

"It's not the cake what I don't like, it's that stupid number" she said staring at the 4 and 0 on the little cake.

"Well, I can get rid of it if you want" he said knowing that that wasn't the real reason she was upset.

"You know what I mean…at least you could have put candles instead of that ugly number." she reproached him.

"Honey, 40 candles don't fit in this cake…" he said in the sweetest way he could, trying not to anger her.

"See! I'm an old ass."

"Hey, don't blame your beautiful and sexy ass." he joked pinching her thigh, she was about to say something but he changed the topic bringing the cake closer to her face.

"Wanna taste the cake? It smells really really great." he said mischievously, as soon as Rachel brought her nose near the cake Ross pushed it slightly against her face, getting her nose dirty: Emma laughed at her mother's dirty face. Rachel stared at him with her mouth open.

"Damn you Geller!" she said taking the cream off her face "you're dead!" she suddenly took a handful of chocolate cream from the cake and rubbed it all over his face, his expression was priceless and Rachel and Emma couldn't stop laughing.

"Emma…go see some cartoons, I need to fix something here" he said seemingly angry.

"Okay," she replied happily, forgetting about everything going on there the moment her father said cartoons. She got out of the room leaving them alone.

Sitting next to each other, Rachel looked at his partner, who seemed rather serious.

"Are you…mad at me?" she asked, putting an innocent face.

"No…."

"Yes you are" she said wrapping her arms around his neck, and tenderly kissing his cheek "it's not fair, you started it." she said with a sorrowful voice. While she was talking, Ross filled his hand with a big piece of cake and suddenly squeezed it all over her neck and chest. Her jaw dropped in shock while Ross kept laughing rubbing the cake all over her chest and neck.

She glared at him. Before she could take her revenge, Ross put the cake out of her sight and pushed her hands against the bed again, he was above her so she wouldn't be able to move, she gave him a serious look.

"You're mean! I thought you were mad at me!"

"Honeyyy I can't be mad at you" he said smiling and kissing her softly on the lips. She melted with his words.

"Well but I'm angry with you now! Look what you did to me! I'm a mess, even my night gown got dirty" she reproached him.

"I'm sorry…" he said sounding sad and kissing her on the lips "I can fix this up," he said with a mischievous smile while getting up and heading toward the door.

"Where are you g…." she stopped talking the moment she saw him locking the door and coming back to her.

"oh no no no no mister! Don't even think about it…" she said serious

"Shhhh" he shushed her putting a finger on her lips, then he immobilized her again and started licking the chocolate from her neck "mmm this tastes really good" Rachel laughed at his dirty face.

"Enjoy that 'cause you're not getting any further." he looked at her in disappointment.

"C'mon Rach! Let me play a little bit" he pleaded like a little boy. He slid the straps of her night gown down her shoulder and put it down, exposing her chest.

"Ross!" she grumbled while trying to put her night gown back up but he didn't allow it."Em is just outside that door…I don't feel good doing this with her so close"

"honey, she is watching cartoons, you know she forgets the world when she is watching them" he tried to convince her. He leaned down and licked the chocolate from her left shoulder.

"Still…" her voice trailed off. She wanted to stop him but the feeling of his lips on her skin always left her breathless. She moaned softly as she felt his tongue travelling sensually from his shoulder down to her breast. After licking most of the chocolate off her body he looked at her gorgeous face. Her eyes were closed and by her expression he could tell she was enjoying it. Her slightly open mouth looked irresistible to him, those delicious lips were begging for a kiss and he was more than glad to please them; he caught them between his lips and kissed her wildly, with the same desire as if he hadn't seen her in months. She kissed him back with equal passion; she now had her arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer to her body. With a quick movement she turned him around, laying him on his back; she straddled him and kissed him again. Some minutes later she broke the kiss and looked at him with a big smile.

"What?" he mirrored her smile.

"I love you" she whispered and after giving him a quick peck on the lips she ran toward the bathroom before he could catch her. He rapidly sat on the bed frustrated and tried to chase her but she locked the door.

"Rachel! How you dare leave this now!" he yelled at the. She bit her lip, leaning on the other side of the door.

"I'm sorry honey, I need a shower, I promise I'll make it up to you tonight" she said half laughing, knowing the state she had left him in.

"Of course you will!" he shouted a bit upset looking down at his sweatpants.

"I love youuuuu" Rachel said out loud smiling

"I see…" he heard her open the shower and the water start to fall. He sighed deeply and after some minutes of "recovery" he went to the other bathroom to have a very-needed shower.

Some minutes later Ross came out dressed and clean, he went back to their bedroom; Rachel was still in the shower so in the meantime he took the rest of the cake to the kitchen and cleaned the bedroom. He was making the bed when his little treasure came in.

"Daddy, where's mommy?" Emma asked, standing still near the door and carrying a paper in her hands.

"She's showering babe, why?" he said while lifting her up from the floor.

"I want to give her my present" she said smiling beautifully. He hugged his daughter tightly.

"She'll be out in a few minutes" he said "and do you know what I'm going to do with you meanwhile?" he said in a funny voice, Emma moved her head from side to side smiling "tickles!" he threw his daughter onto the bed and started tickling her tummy. The little girls giggled loudly while her daddy kept tickling her and blowing in her belly to make funny noises, she shook her little body trying to escape from her daddy's hands.

"Mommy!" she yelled between unstoppable laughter. Right then, a now clean and radiant Rachel came out of the bathroom, she was wearing a breathtaking short black dress and her long honey blond hair down. She stood still with her hands on her hips looking at that beautiful scene.

"What are you doing to my baby?" she smiled as she saw him freeze the moment his eyes met her. He opened his mouth in pure amazement. The little girl, taking advantage of the moment, escaped from her father's arms and ran towards her mom.

"You look….hot!" he managed to say.

"Thank you" she smiled, proud that she still had that effect on him

"Mommy, I made you a present." Rachel looked down at her daughter, who had her arms raised to give her a paper.

"Oh honey! Let me see that" she said picking her daughter up to carry her to the bed with her. She sat with her on her lap and watched the lovely drawing her girl had made.

"I'm going to make some calls, I want you two ready in fifteen minutes okay'?"

"For what?"

"Hello? It's your birthday! Did you think that cake was all you would get? your birthday has just started" he said winking at her. Rachel smiled at him, unable to hide her excitement.

When he left the room her attention went back to the beautiful drawing her daughter had made of her, it was a bunch of colourful irregular lines and figures put together as good as a 4-years-old could manage. The drawing showed the three of them, holding hands and smiling widely, and all around them there were dozens of red hearts. Rachel smiled and hugged her daughter.

"Honey I love it! It's beautiful! Thank you!" she planted a kiss on the top of her head. The little girl smiled proudly . Rachel couldn't take her eyes off her, she was beautiful "just like her mommy" as Ross would say, and in fact, he wasn't lying; Emma was a young copy of her mother, the same big gorgeous blue eyes, the same honey blonde hair and the same joyful smile, but on the other hand, her personality was just all her father's, she was loving, caring, funny, sometimes shy and very intimate about her life just like Ross. She gave her another kiss on the cheek and then got up.

"Let's put this on the fridge and get ready or daddy will get mad at us!" she said as she headed out of the room with her girl in her arms.

AFTERNOON

They were having lunch in one of the best restaurants in the west village, where they had been living together since Rachel had decided to stay; The three of them were having a really good time together, they laughed and talked for hours, and while their little girl gazed at the other kids in the restaurant, they shared some kisses and looks full of love. After eating the dessert, Ross put a blue box out of his jacket, Rachel smiled at him and slowly opened it, she opened her mouth in amazement as she took the necklace out the box. It was a white gold heart-shaped necklace, with a small sky blue diamond in the middle.

"Honey, this is beautiful" she said with a wide smile, she leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Do you like it?"

"of course! I love it." she said looking at it again.

"Let me put it on you" he stood up and while Rachel gathered her hair in a hand, he put the necklace around her neck.

"Thank you" she said.

"Don't say so till the end of the day, there are more presents to come." he said smiling.

"What are you planning on doing, Geller?" she said arching her eyebrow full of curiosity

"You'll see."

NIGHT

After spending the evening walking by the Hudson River, the happy family headed back to their home. When they arrived it was already dark.

"Honey, could you open the door? I can't find my keys." he said pretending he was looking for them in his jacket.

"Sure" she said without suspecting what was about to happen. The moment she switched the lights on, a great amount of people stood up.

"Surpriseeeeee!" they all yelled at once, Rachel brought her hands to her mouth in genuine shock. The room was packed with her new friends, old friends and her family. She got tears in her eyes, specially seeing her four closest friends there, as they hadn't been in the same room in a long time. She ran in their direction and hugged them, Ross soon joined them; for all of them it seemed like time hadn't passed. After some minutes of emotion and tears of happiness she greeted the rest of the guests.

Some hours had passed and Rachel was sitting on their living room couch, gazing at all her loved people enjoying the party. Monica was talking with some friends when she turned her head and saw her friend from the distance; she could read in her eyes that something was bothering her; she finished the conversation and went towards her.

"Hey! Are you okay?" Monica asked sitting beside her and putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah," she said faking a smile she wasn't feeling. Monica tilted her head.

"Are you sure?" she knew she wasn't telling the truth, they had been friends for over thirty years now and she knew her better than anyone there.

"Yes, I'm just a bit tired, but I'm fine." she gave her friend a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay, let's have fun, it's your 40 birthday honey! You have to enjoy them!"

"God! Don't say that number ever again! It's awful!"

"Sweetie, it's just a number, what matters is how you feel inside, don't be silly! Come on let's dance," she grabbed her friend's hand and carried her towards the main room where everybody was.

Later into the night, almost everybody had left, just her four closest friends remained there, they all were sitting in the living room, talking and drinking; Rachel was on Ross' lap, with her head resting on his shoulder and his arms around her body, also once in a while he gave her sweet kisses on her forehead. Monica was sitting opposite her with a sleepy Erika in her arms, she observed her friend and in spite of what she had said, she could tell she wasn't feeling well. After sharing and laughing at old memories, they all gathered by the door to say goodbye.

"Will you call me if you need something?" Monica said concerned about her.

"Sure! But honey I'm okay, It's just this day, you know I always feel bummed out in my birthday"- Rachel assured her friend.

"Okay, take care." They hugged and said goodbye. Minutes later, Ross and Rachel were alone. They took all the dishes to the kitchen, Rachel was cleaning the counter when Ross hugged her from behind and kissed her neck softly.

"Ready for your next present?" he whispered into her ear. She smiled and turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"There is more?"

"Yeah, and the best one!" he kissed her lips smoothly "wait right here." she watched him exit the kitchen; when he was out of sight she put the plates and glasses in the dishwasher and sat on the counter waiting for him. He entered with an envelope in his hands.

"What's this?" she asked looking confusedly at the envelope.

"Open it!" he encouraged her. She ripped off the envelope and took out two tickets, she looked at them interested, they looked like two plane tickets but she could only read a date and a time. She looked at him confused.

"What's this for?"

"They are tickets for our trip" he grinned.

"But… where? There is nothing written on it…." she found it strange.

"Oh, that's because these are fake, I don't want you to know where we are going just yet."

"C'mon on! Tell me!" she gave him a persuasive look, he wrapped his arms around her waist and put her closer to his body.

"No can't do. I'll tell you tomorrow…I don't want anybody to know where we'll be…"

"So…nobody knows?" she arched an eyebrow.

"Nobody…well, only Monica knows, just in case something happens, and she also will be taking care of Emma for those days so…"

"Em is not coming?" she said a bit sad.

"Honey, it's a trip for both of us, no one else, with nobody who could bother us."

"Tell me more…" she said smiling, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a look full of love.

"well…it's a 10-days trip for the two of us, just you and me…..lost somewhere in the planet… naked all day…kissing…making love…just enjoying our company." he whispered in her ear, his breath caressing her skin produced electrical shivers all through her body.

"mmm I'm loving this present already…" she said sensually. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow morning"

"Oh…we should start packing then."

"What? Didn't you hear me at all? I told you we would be naked all day" he joked, Rachel laughed.

"I know honey, but what if it's cold there…"

"Then…I'll warm you up with my body" he whispered.

"As good as that sounds, I think we should pack, now."

"Okayyy..."

"I promise you I'll pack the sexiest clothes I have" she winked at him and got off the counter.

"mmh, you know your audience" he said before kissing her sweetly, she hugged him tightly.

"I can't wait to be by ourselves."


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2 **

"Can I take it off?" Rachel asked for the third time since they had gotten in the car.

"Nooo! Be patient! We'll get there in ten minutes."

"Okaaaay" she put her hands back on her legs, which kept shaking up and down nervously. They had left their home early that morning and after having dropped, against her will, a sleepy Emma at Monica's they had taken a two hour flight to somewhere she still didn't know.

"We're here!" Ross said excited; he ran to the other side to help her get out of the car. The moment she put her feet on the floor and breathed the warm fresh air of that place she knew they were far away from the rest of the world.

"Can I take off the blindfold now?" she said excited with her hands already in the knot.

"Wait a second" he grabbed her by the waist and guided her to the best spot. "Now" She untied the knot and her jaw dropped the moment she saw what she had before her eyes. It was a beautiful house of white walls and large windows surrounded by innumerable trees; indeed, they were in the middle of a forest. Near the house there was also a crystalline water river which produced a beautiful sound to their ears. After some minutes of amazement, she turned around and jumped onto his arms and kissed him so passionately that he was left breathless.

"Wow!" he said after that show of passion from his loved one "Does that mean you love the place?" he laughed.

"You bet!" she said with a big smiled on her face.

"And you haven't seen the best thing yet!" she looked at him and arched an eyebrow.

"More beautiful than this? not possible."

"Wait and see," Ross grabbed her hand and guided her through a leafy lane near the house, they walked for five minutes through it, Rachel's interest increased as they got closer to the end. They went up a little hill and just then, her blue eyes sparkled with amazement. He smiled at her expression. She moved her mouth as trying to say something but words failed to come out. The dense forest opened to a beautiful large blue water lake, which received its water from a tall and beautiful waterfall.

"How, how did you find out about this place?"

"A friend of mine owns the house, but don't worry, he won't bother us" he said encircling her waist and giving her a sweet kiss. She arched an eyebrow.

"Which friend?"

"You don't know him, he's a new colleague; very nice guy."

"Well, thank him on my behalf, and thank you for this gift, you're amazing" she said from the bottom of her heart before kissing him tenderly. Their lips parted and she looked back at that beautiful view.

"Would you like to bathe?" Ross suggested in a sexy voice.

"Oh no no no, It is pretty but I have a feeling the water is freezing cold." Ross made a sound of disappointment but Rachel ignored it. "by the way, where are we exactly?" she asked yet unbelieving she was not dreaming and curious to know where that dream-like place was. He brought her closer to his body.

"Does it matter?" he whispered, brushing his nose gently against hers.

"Not really." she smiled and hugged him tightly. "I love you" she whispered in his ear.

"I love you too" he kissed her neck, no wanting to break that hug. She felt so right in his arms, so loved and protected, just as she had felt from the day he chased her to the airport to pour out his feelings for her.

"So…we're all alone?"

"We're all alone" he repeated her words "and do you know what I'd like to do right now?" he said sensually in her ear.

"No…" she smiled guessing he had something dirty in mind.

"This!" he grabbed her strongly and before she could react he threw her into the cold lake. Rachel screamed before sinking into the water. Ross laughed as he waited for her to emerge and just as he was expecting, her face wasn't friendly at all.

"Asshole!" she yelled full of anger as she clumsily came out of the water. She was drenched; the long white baggy dress she was wearing was now semitransparent and stuck to her body, revealing her fit figure. She strode towards Ross, who was fighting to contain his laughter but at the same time couldn't take his eyes off her. She tried to push him to the water but he was stronger than her.

"You look so sexy in that wet dress," he teased her.

"Shut up!" she tried to push him again.

"Honey, give up, you're not strong enough." Ross teased her, standing still with all his strengh so she could not push him. She grumbled in frustration. "Don't get mad, beautiful!" he laughed again and tried to hug her as he noticed she was shivering. but she pulled back and sent him an angry stare.

"You'll pay for this, I swear!" she said before turning around and making her way back to the house. He followed her still laughing at her anger; he caught up with her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Do you forgive me?" he said sounding sad.

"Mmhh I don't know" she pretended to be mad, although in her head, she was actually planning how to get back at him.

"You won't make me sleep in the couch, will you?"

"Ha…I didn't think about that, but, yeah! Probably" He smiled as he perfectly knew that she wouldn't stand a night sleeping without him around, that's how it had been since they got back together; He smiled to himself as he remembered one time she was out of town for a week for a fashion conference and he couldn't go with her; she called him every single night and made him talk and talk, about whatever, she just wanted to hear his voice until she fell asleep so she could feel as if he was there with her, just by her side.

(…)

"Honey, I have to go to a nearby town to buy food and stuff, do you need something?" he said while opening the door for her. She thought for a moment and shook her head no. "Okay…it will take me about two hours or so, but I have something for you to entertain."

"What's that?" she arched an eyebrow curious.

"Look in our bedroom" he winked at her "if you need something give me a call" he kissed her forehead before getting into the car and leaving.

She observed the spacious living room amazed. It was practically the size of their apartment in Manhattan. The walls were painted white, giving the room a beautiful illumination. It was decorated with modern colourful wooden furniture that gave the house a truly youthful touch. She took some steps to the right and entered the open kitchen which was also white and well equipped.

She walked through a large corridor, where she could find a bedroom with an office inside and an enormous bathroom. She went upstairs where there were three large rooms, each one with its own bathroom. She looked in each of them for what Ross had

left for her. She didn't know what it could be so the search was a bit frustrating. She opened the last door and immediately knew that was the room Ross had picked for them. It was spacious and well illuminated, connected to a balcony from which you could see the amazing views of that place. She slid the crystal door and rested her elbows on the rail and observed the "paradise" as Ross had referred to it. She could see the blue of the sea and the green of the forest mix together in the distance.

She was about to enter the room again when she spotted a notebook on one of the deck chairs. She picked it up and read on the cover: "A tale by Ross and Emma Geller." She chuckled and walked inside, flipping through the pages curiously.

(…)

She closed the book and buried it in her chest; still moved by that beautiful tale he had written based on their love life; she was so into her thoughts that she hadn't noticed his presence by the doorway until he spoke.

"Did you like it?" She instantly raised her sight and smiled widely; she put the notebook down and jumped from the bed into his arms, taking him by surprise.

"I LOVE it!" she exclaimed right before giving him a truly hungry kiss. He placed his hands on her waist and smiled against her lips, happy that his little gift had brightened up her mood.

"Wow! I wasn't expecting such a big response!" he grinned at her as he pulled her closer to his body to kiss her again.

"Are you kidding? It was the most beautiful thing someone has ever made for me" her big sweet smile didn't leave her face for a moment.

"I must give credit to Emma though, it was her idea."

"Aw, my sweet girl. By the way, I had no idea you could write things other than dinosaur stuff." She teased.

"I can do a lot more than that." he kissed her cheek and pulled her into a tighter hug while burying his face into her neck.

"thank you she whispered into his ear in the most honest way. She wrapped her arms tighter around his shoulders, not wanting to let go of that moment, she couldn't believe how blessed she was to have him in her life.

She had totally lost her faith in relationships years ago, nothing seemed to work in her love life, but since the moment Ross chased her to the airport, everything changed; everything seemed different with him and in spite of her first fears about the consequences this would cause if it didn't work out she knew from the very beginning that he was different, that they were different; it was not like starting from 0. They were finally on the same page.

"You don't have to thank me, just a smile from you is enough" he whispered into her ear. She pulled back a little and without breaking the hug she flashed him her biggest, sincerest smile "oh, and a kiss…" he added grinning, she chuckled a little and pressed her lips gently against his, complying his desire "and another one…" he said softly bringing her closer to catch her lips again, she smiled against his mouth and responded to his kiss ardently. "And…." he began to say while his hands slipped underneath her t-shirt.

"Nu-uh mister," she grabbed his wandering hands "You'll have to wait a little longer for that."

"What?" he pouted.

"Honey, I'm starving, we'll have fun later okay?" she winked at him and grabbed his hand to bring him downstairs.

After eating the hamburgers and fries Ross had brought and putting all the goods in its proper place, They relaxed on the swing sofa that was located on a side of the pool. They quietly gazed at the sun setting behind the immense ocean, staining it with orange and purple colors, that stunning view mixed with the quietness of the nature, made that place even more magical. Rachel laid her head on his lap and immediately felt his hand caress her hair.

"Do you have something planned for these days?" she broke the silence. He looked down at her.

"Well…"

"Other than that." He chuckled.

"Not really, we can do whatever you feel like…what do you think about going hiking tomorrow? Eric has recommended me a route he says we cannot miss."

"I haven't hiked in years but yeah, that sounds fun." she smiled at him and gazed back at the last sun beams disappear. They stayed in silence and with the only light coming from the pool until Rachel's stomach growled noisily. Ross chuckled.

"Ughh, I think I'm gonna get a snack or something to calm this down." he nodded and put his arm away so she could stand up.

She came back carrying a bowl full of strawberries in her hands, but instead of sitting back on the swing sofa she reached the edge of the pool. She grinned to herself and took a big bite off one of the strawberries waiting for him to say something. Ross observed her curiously.

"What are you doing over there? Come here, I want some too!" she turned around and grinned.

"Come and get them yourself."

"You'll make me stand up just for that?" he shot her a look whereas Rachel just smiled at him and put a strawberry between her teeth to challenge him. He smiled knowing perfectly what she meant by that. "If you put it that way…"

Watching him get up from the swing sofa she gave a little step backwards, closing the distance between her heels and the edge of the pool. He reached her and stopping just inches from her he leaned down to bite the delicious strawberry off her mouth, but with a quick and almost imperceptible movement, she stepped aside and pushed him into the pool, fully dressed; it had been so unexpected that Ross had no time to even protest. Rachel laughed loudly when she saw him emerge quickly from the water with a startled expression and unsuccessfully putting his T-shirt off his face.

"Wh…?"

"This was for this morning" she said before he could speak "now we're even" she stuck out her tongue and proudly put another strawberry into her mouth. She turned around and was about to walk away when she felt a great amount of water soak her whole back.

"Hey!" she protested, turning around to face him "Do not start again!"

"This is not over, missy! You'll pay for this!" he warned her as he splashed her with more water, soaking her completely. Since she was already dripping wet she decided to join him.

"You'll regret having done that!" she warned, getting rid of her shorts and diving into the water. She quickly swam towards him and tried to duck him deep down the water but he caught her wrists tightly and sank her instead.

He pulled her out without letting go of her wrists so she couldn't escape, he chuckled at her astonished expression. She tried to liberate her arms but it was impossible; before she could complain he sank her again. She sent him a more hateful stare now. If someone were looking from afar, they would think they were two teenagers.

"Let go of me!" she grumbled while making a harder effort to free her hands. He laughed at her but to his surprise she managed to get away and before he could react she was already behind him with her arms around his shoulders and pushing him down with all her strength. Once he was underwater she swam towards the pool steps to escape from him as quickly as her wet T-shirt allowed her but it turned out worthless as he managed to grab her ankle before she could reach the edge and pulled of her. He embraced her from behind and wrapped his arms firmly around her body, one around her waist and the other one above her chest, blocking her completely.

"Where did you think you were going?" he murmured into her ear and kissed the skin behind it after.

"Away from you" she said almost in a whisper, feeling his lips the water drops on her neck.

"All right…I'll call it even if you stay here with me a little longer…deal?"

"Mmh okay…" it's all she could pronounce as his lips went back to work, his arms still blocking her lost strength and travelled down to grab the bottom of her T-shirt and pull it off her body to leave the way free for his lips to explore. She didn't complain. His hands went back to her belly and caressed it at the same time his lips went down to her collar bone and shoulder. Her breath deepened as his kisses intensified and not able to take it anymore she turned around and wrapping her arms around his shoulders she melted with him in a hungry kiss. He carried her to the pool steps not breaking the kiss for a moment. He sat in one of the steps and placed her on his lap. After a moment of passion, he felt how she began to slow down the kiss.

"What?" Ross asked after breaking the kiss and looking at her confused, he knew there was something wandering in her mind.

"Nothing…I was just thinking."

"While kissing? That can't be good" she chuckled.

"Don't worry it's nothing bad"

"So…what is it?" he asked, stroking her back with both hands.

"I was thinking about Emma…" Ross rolled his eyes.

"Honey, Emma will be fine with Monica, stop worrying about it." He attempted to resume the kiss but she pulled back.

"Not that." He arched an eyebrow.

"Then…what about her?"

"I was thinking about Emma and….how great it would be to make her a big sister" she kissed his shoulder sweetly and looked up to find his eyes widely open.

"Are you…are you suggesting having another...baby?" He needlessly asked, he was really shocked since she hadn't imagined she would say that.

"Uh-huh" she chuckled at his dumbfounded expression. "What do you say" he looked at her, speechless. They had never talked about children before, not since that time shortly after they had started dating when he told her about his plans for their future and she freaked out. And Emma hadn't been planned.

Her mind flew to her previous pregnancy, bringing all the good memories of it, she also though about their daughter and how much she loved that little girl. All those things made that idea much more appealing. She looked at him and smiled, waiting for an answer.

"I think…it's a good idea." He grinned.

"Really?" she asked excited

"Yeah! I think it would be great to give Emma a little brother or sister, and besides, we make such a gorgeous babies so why not?" they both smiled and joined in a gentle kiss."But are you completely sure?" He asked concerned. "We'll have to go through the pregnancy, the nights without sleep and all that all over again" he warned her.

"It doesn't matter, as long as it's with you I'll go through that as many times as you want" he melted with her words and pulled her closer to kiss her deeper.

"Wanna start trying?" he looked at her mischievously.

"Actually…I'm a little tired….maybe tomorrow" she teased him, he stared at her hoping she was just kidding. She chuckled at his startled face and hugged him tightly, and with her mouth near his ear she sensually whispered.

"Let's make a baby, honey."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks "Guest" for letting me know I had written Courteney instead of Monica, I was sleepy LOL and in this story there are no twins, it's just Erika. Sorry I forgot to mention that. **

**CHAPTER 3**

A sudden kick on his leg woke him up early that morning; he rolled over on the bed and found the kicking responsible sleeping serenely, facing down and just half covered with the sheets. He smiled gazing at her naked back; he got a little closer and rested his hand on her bare shoulder, then slid it slowly along her bare back feeling every inch of her soft skin down to the small of her back. He directed his gaze back to her angelical face and feeling the urge to kiss her he reached her shoulder with his lips and placed a sweet kiss on it. He kept gazing at her until another abrupt kick disrupted his activity.

"Ouch!" he yelled bending to grab his leg since he had been kicked hard on his shin.

"What! What! What!" Rachel exclaimed, quickly sitting up on the bed, alerted by his yells. She took her messy hair off her face and looked at Ross, whose face expression was further from calm. "Did I kick you again?" she asked shyly bringing her hand to her mouth.

"Yeah…" his voice cracked, he was still holding his leg waiting for the pain to stop.

"Aww I'm so sorry honey!" she said sweetly while getting closer to him and kissing his cheek.

"I may need to start considering sleeping with leg pads."

"I know, I'm sorry, I can't help it….we should buy a bigger bed so I won't be able to hit you ever again"

"Oh no no no no no that's not an option" he exclaimed forgetting his leg and wrapping his arms around her body to bring her closer "actually I'm getting used to the kicking thing, but we could always get a smaller one" he grinned making Rachel chuckle.

"You're silly" she said caressing his cheek "but I love you."

"I love you too" he smiled and gave her a peck.

"Okay, but don't take this against me later!" he smiled.

"I won't." he kissed her forehead and lay back on the bed, not letting go of her for a moment. "wanna go hiking today?" Ross asked after some minutes of just staring at the ceiling and stroking each other's body.

"What time is it?"

"10.30"

"Okay…but let's stay here a little longer…I'm still tired after last night…" she grinned.

"Yeah.. I'm pretty exhausted too, you were on fire last night!"

"So were you. We can say we did our best looking for that baby, huh?" he laughed

"Totally!"

"Oh! I have to call Monica! I completely lost track of time yesterday and when I called Emma was already sleeping," she said with a sad voice.

"Okay, let me talk to her when you're done." she nodded and got out of the bed, she grabbed one of his T-shirts and put it on, just with that she took her mobile off her purse and went back to the bed, where Ross hadn't missed a single one of her movements. She sat with her knees bended and her back resting on the bed headboard while dialing Monica's number. Meanwhile Ross sat near her and observed her attentively, his T-shirt on her looked so sexy and it left her long tanned legs to sight. He smiled and placed one of his hands on her bare knee and looked up at her, he saw her gazing nowhere, just concentrated on the phone waiting for someone to pick it up. He slid his hand up her thigh; her soft skin was so addictive for him that taking his hands off her always required a great effort on his part. She suddenly tapped his hand when she felt he was getting close to a very intimate part; it wasn't that she didn't like it but it was not appropriate when she was about to speak to her daughter. He shot her an angry stare and she responded sticking out her tongue. She soon forgot everything the moment she heard a voice in the other line.

"Monica"

"Hi sweetie! How are you?"

"Couldn't be better…You?"

"Well…not as good as you I guess, these three bundles of energy together are exhausting!"

"Three?"

"Yeah, Erika, Emma and Chandler." Rachel chuckled.

"Aw I'm sorry honey, I hope Emma is behaving well, though"

"She , don't worry, she is just too tireless! Even Erika got exhausted after playing with her all day; can you believe she is still sleeping?"

"Unbelievable!" Rachel chuckled.

"I know!"

"So…is my girl up yet?" she asked hopeful to hear her sweet voice.

"Of course! She is drawing in the living room, I'll go get her."

"Okay" she smiled widely eager to hear her daughter's sweet voice.

"Mommy!" Emma exclaimed cheerfully forgetting the drawing she was making as she firmly held the telephone.

"Hi sweetheart!" she said sweetly almost moved, it had been only a day and she already missed her badly "how is my little girl doing?"

"Fine! I'm doing a drawing for you right now."

"Aww, I can't wait to see it."

"When are you coming back mommy? I wanna see you and daddy!"

"Oh honey, we want to see you too! We'll be there next week."

"How much is that?" she asked confused.

"…exactly the number of fingers you have in your hands honey" Emma looked at her free hand still confused.

"Mommy, that's a lot! Why can't I go with you?" she whined.

"Honey, mommy and daddy need to spend some time alone...you'll understand when you're older, but I promise we'll be there really soon, and we'll play all your favorites games!"

"Yay! I can't wait to play Farm with daddy" she exclaimed excited.

"Just daddy? What about me?" she pretended to be hurt, Ross eyed her amused and happy that her daughter had mentioned him.

"I'm sorry mommy, but you don't do animal sounds well…" she said timidly which made Rachel laughed

"Yeah okay…"

"But I can play "hairdressers" with you!" she interrupted her trying to make her mother happy.

"I prefer that" she smiled widely thinking how sweet her girl was. "So are you having fun with Erika?"

"Yeah! A lot! We played barbies! And we watched Cinderella! Mommy can I have a Cinderella dress? Erika has one and it's beautiful! I want one mommy please!"

"We'll see, but you'll have to behave really really well at Monica's to get it" she warned.

"I will mommy, I'll be a good girl" she said very convinced which made Rachel smile.

"Let me talk with her" Ross whispered immediately receiving a nod from Rachel.

"Honey, daddy wants to talk to you, I'll call you tonight again okay?"

"Okay! I love you mommy!"

"Aww I love you too sweetheart, bye!" she said a bit sad while reluctantly passing the phone to Ross.

"Hi princess!"

"Hi daddy! Mommy just told me that if I behave well she'll buy me a Cinderella Dress!" she said excited.

"Really? Well you'll have to be a really good girl then! Or not, I'll make sure you get that dress anyway" he murmured this last sentence with his hand covering his mouth so Rachel wouldn't hear much, but she did and stared at him in reproach.

"YAY! Thank you daddy!"

"Anything for my princess!"

"I love you a lot! And I can't wait to play Farm with you!" he laughed.

"Are you missing my horse-back rides already?"

"Yes!"

"Well don't worry we'll be there really soon and we'll play whatever you want! and we could also go to your favorite park or the beach! What do you prefer?"

"The beach!" she yelled, making him laugh.

"Okay okay, well princess…we'll talk tomorrow okay? don't drive Monica crazy!"

"Okay daddy! Bye!"

"Wait wait wait! Where is my goodbye kiss?" Emma giggled and pressed her lips together to make a big sound which made Ross smiled widely "That's better, thank you! Bye princess! Take care!"

"Bye daddy!"

He pressed the hang up bottom with the biggest smile on his face, his daughter's tenderness always melt his heart, but when he looked up at Rachel his expression changed to a confused one.

"What?" he asked confounded by her stare and crossed arms.

"Why did you tell her you'll buy her a Cinderella dress?!" he rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on! It's not a big deal."

"Yes it is! I don't want her to believe she can get everything she wants with no effort, I don't want her to be spoiled."

"Aw honey don't worry about that, it's just one time…and besides don't you think she deserves it? Her parents have left her to be by themselves for over a week and she hasn't even complained… she does deserve a prize for that…"

"Ugh you're right…" she said calmer now "she is being so mature with this…god! She is growing so fast!" she whined as she embraced him closer and placed her head on his chest. He wrapped her with one arm while his other one stroked her smooth hair.

"I know…she is gonna be five in five months! And it seems like yesterday when she first said daddy…" Rachel stared at him.

"You love bringing that up every time you can, don't you? For your information, the fact that she called you first does not mean she loves you more. In fact, it's proved that babies say "dada" first because it's easier to pronounce the "d" than the "m"" he chuckled.

"Whatever! She still called me first" he repeated sticking out his tongue.

"I hate you." He smiled and left her breathless with a kiss.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After taking a quick breakfast they went hiking around the forest. They walked for several hours non-stop, gazing at the beautiful scenery they were going through.

"Honey is that cliff still far away? I'm feeling a little tired…."

"It's near, but we can take a break if you need it."

"Yes please," she almost begged "I need some water…" she murmured. She stopped and rested her hands on her knees for support; she was exhausted. Her heart was beating fast in chest, so fast that she could hear it on her ears.

"Here," he said handing her the bottle; she incorporated to take it but suddenly her arm wouldn't move, her blood seemed to have fallen to her feet, leaving her body weak, unable to move, and everything started to look blurry.

"Rach, are you okay?" he asked worried "you look pale."

"No…not…so much" she let out in a whisper, he quickly grabbed her by the waist and led her to a rock.

"Here, sit down" she obeyed and slowly sat down with her eyes closed as everything seemed to be moving around her. She rested her elbows on her knees to support her head. Ross sat beside her and stroked her back, very concerned. "Honey, what happen?" she couldn't answer, she was still light-headed to speak. He kissed her hair, and handed her the water. "here, drink some water…"

She slowly got upright and grabbed the bottle, she drank some and also wetted her forehead which made her feel a little better.

"Are you better now?" she nodded and gave him a small smiled to calm him "we should go back to the house and call a doctor." he said while standing up and extending a hand to help her.

"Oh no honey…. it's not necessary… I'm much better now."

"Still…I think you should see a doctor, this has never happened to you before."

"Honey it's nothing, it was just a head rush, really, it must have been the heat and that I didn't eat much this morning, that's all." he looked at her unsure but he hugged her, rubbing her back reassuringly.

"Don't scare me like that again, please." she giggled into his neck and hugged him back. He sweetly kissed her temple and parted away. "Do you wanna go home and rest?"

"No way, I wanna see that cliff! I'll rest later."

"Okay, but I'm carrying you there" he said placing himself in front of her and bending over so she could get on his back.

"Do you want to faint yourself?" she said sarcastically.

"Less joking and hop in!"

"Honey, I'm not a baby I can walk the rest of the way! I'm fine" he frowned and before she could get away he grabbed her by her thighs and pushed her up to his back in spite of her whining. "Will you stop being so stubborn! Like it or not I'm gonna carry you there!" she finally gave up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she secured her body on his back.

After 10 minutes they got there; the dense forest had been left behind and now they were on a high deserted cliff overlooking the immense sea. He let her down.

"Wow! Just when I thought this place couldn't get any better!" Ross said amazed as they reached the end of the cliff; the sea had never seemed bigger, neither the sky.

"I know! This is….amazing! Does your friend by any chance want to sell the house?" he chuckled.

"I don't think so…but we could come more often if you want."

"I like that."

"Let's sit down" he held her hand and led her to a nearby rock; he sat down, resting his back on the rock and with Rachel sitting between his legs so they could stare straight at the beautiful landscape. She laid her head on his shoulder and felt him grab her hands, entwining his fingers with hers.

"Do you miss this?"

"I don't think I've been here before." She tapped his hand playfully.

"No! I mean this, being the two of us…alone and with plenty of time for ourselves, like when we started dating."

"I guess…a little…Why do you ask that now?"

"I don't know…" she sighed "I've been feeling a little nostalgic lately…I can't believe soon it's gonna be three years since…that night" she remarked the last words, referring to the night the slept together and the day after. Ross smiled.

"Oh..THE night."

"It sure was incredible." she said grinning at the thought of that night, and the following day.

"I still can't believe you were going to leave without saying goodbye to me."

"I told you I couldn't find the strength to, but it turned out for the best in the end, didn't it?" he smiled.

"Definitely." He kissed her head. "It was worth the fight."

"Gosh, and that moment you grabbed me and kissed me so passionately…I completely lost my willpower."

"I'm that good, huh?" He grinned "I just…didn't want to fight with you, and I didn't know how to tell you that I loved you and that I wanted you to stay…so I kissed you. But then you said it was the perfect way to say goodbye…"

"I didn't know you still loved me…you should've told me right then."

"You know I always sucked at that…and I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way or that you would turn me down and choose Paris over me, like you did." He chuckled.

"Hey, I was shocked, you turned out of nowhere and started saying all those things…I freaked out." she said defensively. "But I'm so glad you chased me to that airport."

"I had to, Otherwise I would be losing you again, and after that night I realized that being with you is all I had ever wanted" he hugged her stronger and kissed her temple.

"You're wonderful" she whispered looking up right into his eyes.

"YOU make me wonderful…" he smiled from ear to ear, they stayed in silence for a few minutes, just cuddling and observing the soft movement of the sea and the white clouds crossing the sky.

"Do you remember how crazy we were the next few months?"

"Of course I do, we did it like bunnies!" she tapped his hand but she couldn't hide her smile

"Couldn't you have said it in a better way?" she reproached him.

"I'm sorry…We spent most of the days in bed…is that better?"

"Yes…and we did…until our baby girl began to speak and decided she liked our bed better than hers" she said sarcastically.

"Tell me about it! Thank god she seems to be changing her mind lately…I was going crazy" Rachel laughed at the way he said it.

"By the way…" she initiated a little afraid to ask.

"Yeah?"

"I know this is for us to be alone but…I was thinking….we could invite Chandler and Monica for the weekend…" she suggested shyly "it's just for three days and they can bring the kids, they'll love this place."

"You're dying to see Emma, aren't you?"

"I terribly miss her" she admitted "don't get me wrong, I love being alone with you but…I need to see her…and besides it's just gonna be three days, we'll still have a few more days to enjoy ourselves after that" she grinned.

"Okay…you convinced me, we'll call Monica when we get back…" he said smiling widely "but with one condition"

"Which one?"

"That she won't sleep in our bed" he said serious making her laugh.

"Deal. We'll put Erika and Em in the same bedroom. Thank you so much, honey." she exclaimed happily, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips against his cheek.

"Don't have to thank me anything, I kind of miss that little angel myself" she smiled and leaned in to kiss him now on the lips, softly and tenderly till he broke apart.

"Let's go now…the sun it's going down and we don't want to walk in the dark."

"Oh wait! I brought the camera! Let's take some picture before leaving."

"Okay."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The sound of an engine caught his attention while he was cleaning the kitchen, he went to the main door and as soon as he stepped outside he saw his girl, dressed in a pink spaghetti dress and with her blonde hair tied in a ponytail, running towards him.

"Daddyyyyyy!" she exclaimed excited as she jumped into his arms. He warmly welcomed her and kissed her forehead.

"Hi sweetie! How are you?"

"Good! I missed you a lot!"

"Aw, I missed you too princess" just then he saw Monica, Chandler and Erika get there.

"She was crazy about coming here!" Monica said looking at a smiling Emma in his arms,

"Hi Mon! Welcome, hey man" Ross smiled and leaned in to kiss her cheek, he then greeted Chandler and Erika.

"Man, now I understand why you wanted to keep this a secret." Chandler commented, amazed by the surroundings.

"Yeah, let's go inside and I'll show you the house" he guided them to the door and entered into the living room.

"Where is Rach?" Monica asked looking around the spacious room.

"She is taking a bath, we didn't expect you to come so soon."

"I know, I'm sorry, we decided to come earlier 'cause we have to leave Sunday morning…"

"Oh, why?"

"It's Chandler's mom's birthday, she'll be in the city this weekend and she's throwing a party."

"It's gonna be A LOT of fun." Chandler added sarcastically.

"Oh…okay, let me show you your room and the girls' so you can get comfortable." he started walking with Emma still in his arms, investigating the surrounds with her big blue eyes.

"Daddy, where is mommy?"

"She is in the bathroom, we'll go see her as soon as we show aunt Monica and uncle Chandler their room okay'?" the little girl nodded. Once there, Ross opened the door of the first room near the stairs.

"This is your room, and the next one will be Erika and Emma's, make yourselves comfortable while I take this princess to her mother."

"Okay honey" said Monica.

He slowly opened the bathroom door and found her in front of the mirror, putting some cream on her face.

"Hey honey," she said concentrated on her image in the mirror.

"Hey, look what I have found" she turned around and her jaw dropped to the floor when she saw her daughter smiling widely and with her arms extended waiting for her to hold her.

"Mommy!"

"Emma, baby!" she exclaimed while taking her and hugging her tightly "what are you doing here already?" she asked surprised as well as excited.

"They came earlier today 'cause they have to leave Sunday morning..."Ross informed her.

"Great! 'cause I really missed you" she said with a funny voice while rubbing her nose against her daughter's, which made the girl giggle sweetly.

"I missed you too."

"Aww, give mommy a big kiss" immediately Emma put her little hands on her face and pressed her lips strongly against her mother's. "aww thank you honey" Ross couldn't help but smile seeing such a tender scene before his eyes.

"Mommy, I wanna swim!"

"Do you?"

"Emma, come with me and let's put your favorite swimsuit on while mommy finishes getting ready okay?" the little girl nodded happily and threw herself to her daddy's arms. "see you at the pool, honey" he kissed Rachel's cheek and left.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

They all spent the day over by the pool; Monica and Rachel were laying on the deck chairs tanning and chatting all the time, but also being interrupted from time to time when their girls called for their attention to check how they jumped into the water together. On the other side of the pool were Chandler and Ross, talking and sometimes playing with the girls.

Since the weather was so nice they decided to have dinner outside too, they laughed and talked for hours while their daughters watched a movie in the living room.

Sometime later Monica and Rachel brought the dishes to the kitchen while the guys stayed outside a bit longer having drinks.

"Now that we are alone…tell me how have these past days been?"

"Amazing. There's no other way to describe it." Rachel answered grinning "We've been-"

"I can imagine what you have been doing." Monica interrupted her and Rachel laughed.

"I know you can, but I wasn't gonna say THAT, if you had let me finish you would have known that Ross and I are trying to have another baby." Monica left the dishes on the table as her jaw dropped in surprise.

"What? Really?" Rachel nodded with a big smile "that's wonderful news!" Monica exclaimed excited as she hugged her strongly."I didn't know you wanted more kids!" they both left the dishes and sat in the table.

"Neither did I, but Ross suggested it the other day and I think it would be great…" her eyes sparkled at the thought of another baby made out of their love.

"It doesn't surprise me, he's crazy about Emma…"

"I know, and you can't imagine how great he's been treating me these days…he´s just wonderful…"

"Honey, he has always treated you like a queen…I can say that since you and him are together he's a different Ross, really! He is madly in love with you, even more than when he was in high school" Rachel couldn't help but smile, as she knew it was true, she also felt different herself since he came into her life again. All the feelings she felt before couldn't compare to how she felt towards him now, she had never imagined she could be loved and love someone to that point.

"I'm very lucky…I've never been happier" she smiled widely.

"I'm glad you're happy; I was kind of worried those past weeks…you looked bothered by something…was I wrong?"

"No, you're not…I was feeling a little down lately."

"Why?"

"I don't know…I actually didn't have a reason to feel like that...but don't worry I'm all okay now"

"Good." just then a 3 and a half years old girl entered into the kitchen in her pajamas and rubbing her eyes.

"Did the movie end already, sweetie?" the girl answered with a simple nod.

"I'm gonna get Erika, she must have fallen asleep." Monica left the room and Rachel got up from the chair and picked her daughter up from the floor.

"Mommy my head hurts" she said softly resting her head on her mother's shoulder as she wrapped her little arms around her neck.

"Really?…a lot?" she asked a little worried, Emma nodded without even lifting her head which let Rachel know she was in fact sick. She placed her hand on her forehead to check if she had fever.

"You're a little hot, I'm gonna give you a pill and we're going to bed right away okay?" she nodded again as she wrapped her arms tighter around her neck. Rachel started looking through the many drawers for some pill. Just then Ross entered the kitchen.

"Hey honey, Chandler just left to his room, wanna go upstairs now? what are you doing?" he asked noticing she was struggling to open yet another drawer.

"Do you know where the thermometer is? Emma is not feeling well and I think she may have fever…."

"Aw, are you sick princess?" he asked stroking her cheeks. Emma didn't answered, her eyes were closed and her cheeks had a pink shade, he stroked his daughter's hair and kissed her forehead, indeed it felt hotter than usual "I think you're right, she's a little hot…go upstairs there must be some sachets in our bags, I'll be there as soon as I find the thermometer."

"Okay, also, bring a glass of water please" he nodded and saw her leave the kitchen. He finally found the thermometer in a drawer of the main bathroom and after filling a glass with some water he went up to their room. Rachel was sitting on the bed, stroking her daughter's hair.

"Here" he said as handing her the glass of water and then placing the thermometer under his daughter's arm. He noticed her nervousness as she torpidly poured the sachet into the glass of water.

"Rach, calm down, she is okay, this is normal" he said calmly as he placed his hand on her leg

"I know, sorry, I always get this tense when she is sick…I can't help it" the intermittent sound of the thermometer interrupted them. Ross carefully took it out of under her arm and looked at the screen.

"She just has a little fever…don't worry, she'll be all better by the morning, you'll see" he said kissing her forehead and Rachel smiled at him.

She then turned her gaze to her daughter, who had fallen asleep beside her. It killed her having to wake her up but she had to; she lifted her a little to give her the sachet, she immediately opened her eyes and looked at her confused.

"Here, drink this sweetie, you'll feel better" she obeyed her mother and drank it before laying her head on the pillow again and closing her left the glass on the bedside table and stroked her daughter's cheek before the attentive gaze of her partner.

"Can she….?" she asked looking at him with pleading eyes, he smiled sweetly knowing she was asking him if Emma could sleep with them.

"Of course" he said smiling and kissed her cheek sweetly.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

She frowned in disgust seeing as her blood came out of her arm and flowed through the thin plastic pipe till slowly filling the test tube. She looked away and pressed her eyes tightly; seeing how her blood left her body was making her nauseas.

After the feeling of having filled three buckets with her blood instead of three little tubes, the nurse carefully removed the needle.

"Done." she said with a big smile as she stuck a little cotton to her arm. Rachel slightly smiled back; all she wanted in that moment was to get out of there as soon as possible; that peculiar smell that inundated the hospital was making her sicker and sicker in her stomach.

"we may have the results by the beginning of next week; the doctor will call you to make an appointment."

"Okay, Thank you" she said while getting up from the chair and grabbing her coat. After saying goodbye she rushed to the exit, she was already late to pick up Emma from school.

On the way to the school her mind didn't stop rambling about her blood analysis; Ross had insisted her for several days that she should take them, but her stubbornness prevented it. She knew she should, since she hadn't felt quite well the last few weeks, but the fear of what the results might be and her aversion to hospitals always ended up backing her up. She finally surrendered when the previous day Ross found her in the bathroom knelt down before the toilet throwing up.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

_He helped her get up from the floor after she had stopped throwing up, he wrapped his arm around her waist to help her get up and handed her the glass of water he had previously filled to rinse her mouth. He looked at her reflect on the mirror, she seemed tired, that and the latest events were getting him even more worried. _

"_What happened now?" he asked when she seemed calmer, she turned around and leaned on the sink and looked at him. _

"_I don't know…I suddenly felt nauseous…." she said serious. _

"_Do you think you could be pregnant?" he asked half smiling she looked away and thought about it; yes, she could be pregnant, the throwing up and the nauseas are clear symptoms of a pregnancy, the possibility was there, but something didn't feel quite right._

"_I don't know…it could be…." she answered with a shrug. He kissed her temple and added._

"_Whether you like it or not I'm gonna make an appointment with the doctor so he can clear all this up, if you're not pregnant you could have anaemia or something else. It's better to make sure nothing's wrong."_

_::::::::::::::::::::::::::: _

Their conversation repeated again in her mind; Maybe she was pregnant… in fact she hadn't had her period since before her birthday so the possibility was there but…._do _

_you feel this nauseas with just two or three weeks of being pregnant? _That was one of the reasons that had her completely uneasy, as when she had been pregnant with Emma she hadn't felt a thing until the third month had passed. She sighed, the test was already done, she just had to wait for the results.

She spent the rest of the day out with Emma, since Ross was teaching evening classes and he wouldn't be home till dinner time. When he came home he found Rachel fast asleep on the sofa while their daughter played Barbies on the floor.

"Daddy!" she yelled thrilled as she got up from the floor and run towards him.

"Sshhh!" He shushed her lifting her in the air "you're gonna wake mommy up" he warned her.

"Too late" Rachel said hoarsely as she smiled and sat up looking at them with sleepy eyes.

"Sorry mommy…." she said shyly

"Well missy, go to your room and put your pajamas on, I'll be there in a minute" he put her back on the floor and headed towards the couch where Rachel was but Emma grabbed his hand and pulled of him.

"But daddy I'm not sleepy! Send mommy to bed, she is sleepy not me" she whined folding her arms which caused both of her parents to smile amused.

"I will as soon as I'm done with you, let's go" he said catching her before she could run away.

"NOOOO! Pleaseee" she yelled while trying to liberate herself. Rachel laughed at the sight of her boyfriend, fighting to keep their playful daughter in his arms, walking away towards their daughter's room.

Forty five minutes later he came back to the living room and sat next to her letting out a big sigh.

"God that kid is impossible! She kept asking all those questions about the tale so I wouldn't leave!" Rachel chuckled.

"Is she sleeping?" she said as she laid her head on his lap and looked up at him.

"I think so….by the way, how was your visit to the doctor?"

"It was…Okay…well…awful! I hate that place."

"And what did they tell you?"

"Well, they say they would have the results by the beginning of next week."

"Great" she noticed that his hand was stroking her low belly "honey…we don't know if I'm pregnant yet, please don't get your hopes too high."

"Okay…but have you got your….?"

"No, not yet….but I'm just three days late, it doesn't mean anything so please don't get too excited."

"Okay…." he said leaning in to kiss her forehead "ready for bed?" he grinned.

"Will you read me a book?" she said like a kid.

"I had something else in mind but if you prefer that…" she grinned.

"Am I gonna like that other thing?"

"Oh yeah I'm sure you will."

"Then go ahead" she said winking, he grabbed her in his arms and carried her to their bedroom.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

**Friday. **

She was distracted cooking some pancakes when she felt some fit arms encircling her waist firmly, which put a big smile on her face.

"Mmhh, smells yummy."

"Pancakes are yummy." she confirmed.

"No, I mean YOU smell yummy" he said as he buried his face on her neck causing her to giggle.

"Ross, stop it! You're tickling me." she said between giggles.

"Okayyy silly" he stopped and wrapped his arms tighter around her.

"Are you leaving now?"

"Yes, but not without taking a bite of your delicious pancakes." she smiled widely as she felt his lips on her neck again. Just then the telephone started ringing.

"Honey can you take a look at this? I'll go get that. it may be Monica, she was supposed to call me yesterday."

"Sure."

"Thanks babe," she said giving his lips a peck and heading towards the phone.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Miss Green?"

"Yeah, it's me, who is this?"

"Hi, it's Doctor Smith."

"Oh…" her facial expression changed. She wasn't expecting him to call so soon.

"We got your results for your blood test, Could you come by tomorrow afternoon?"

"Mm yeah, sure but…is everything okay?" she asked afraid of the answer.

"I prefer to talk to you in person, are you able to come around 4pm?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Okay then, see you tomorrow Miss Green."

"Okay, bye" she pressed the hung up bottom but couldn't take her eyes off the telephone, she had gone pale, his tone had worried her and the fact that he hadn't answered her question made her think of the worst.

"Rach, the pancakes are ready!" she heard Ross yell from the kitchen, she swept her thoughts away and went back there. He had already placed them in a plate and was eating one.

"What did Monica want?"

"It wasn't her. It was Doctor Smith, he wants to see me tomorrow…"

"And why are you so serious?"

"I'm scared…"

"Sweetie don't be, I'm sure there is nothing to worry about."

"I know I'm being silly, I just can't help it, I hate going to the doctor."

"Well, don't worry; I'll be there with you this time okay? but please forget about it, we have something to celebrate today." he winked at her grinning and she smiled back.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Honey, I just dropped Emma at my mom's" he said loudly while entering their room, just then the bathroom door opened widely revealing a just showered Rachel, wrapped in a tiny towel and with her hair still wet.

"Great!" she grinned at him and headed towards the bed where two different dresses laid. "Honey, which dress do you like best?" she asked observing both dresses carefully. Seeing she didn't get any response she looked back at him, the sight of him watching her open-mouthed made her grin. "Honey!" she growled, throwing a pillow at him. He snapped.

"Yeah?!" he said shaking his head and getting closer to her.

"I said which DRESS do you like best…?" she repeated between chuckles.

"Oh…mmmh….the red one!"

"Thank you" she said with a big smile, she then gave him a soft peck on the lips and grabbed the dress to go back to the bathroom.

"Wait, wait, wait!." he followed her and grabbed her before she entered the bathroom. He turned her around and kissed her hard before she could say a word. The strength he had put on the kiss made her take a few steps backward, hitting her back against the wall next to the bathroom door. He had to stop the kiss when his body begged for air. She smiled up at him while stroking his chest.

"That was an amazing kiss" she said when she regained her breath.

"Yeah? Well, wait and see what is coming" he leaned in to kiss her lips again but she gently pushed him away before that happened.

"Sorry honey but we have a reservation at 7 and I'm not ready yet…"

"It won't matter if we're a little late" he leaned in again and placed his lips on her neck, and he sucked on it softly. This time she hadn't the will to stop it. She closed her eyes and rested her head back on the wall to let herself go with his trail of wet kisses that covered her neck and shoulder. His hands, which were on her waist, now slid down to stroke her naked thighs. Feeling this she couldn't help but moan quietly.

"Ross, please…don't…do this to me…" she begged still with her eyes closed feeling the amazing movement of his lips on her skin "I know it's our… "Crazy night" anniversary but…my hair is still wet…and…I've got to get dressed…." it was becoming harder and harder for her to speak. His hands kept climbing up her body in spite of her begging. She moaned deeper as she felt his hands stroking her naked skin under the towel; she knew that if she let him go on she would fall into his game and would end up making love and not going to their date so she collected herself and grabbed his wrists strongly pushing him slightly away. He stared at her waiting for an explanation.

"Don't look at me like that, you know that if we let that happen we won't make it to the restaurant" she said sweetly stroking his cheek.

"So what." She arched an eyebrow.

"Honey, I've been here all day, I want go out, clear my mind a little." He sighed.

"Alright…"

"If you wanted to do THIS, why did you book an early dinner, huh?" Ross looked down, as if ashamed.

"Well…I wanted to…make sure we got home early so…we could enjoy our night."

"Alright, so let's do that, let's get home early."

"But-" she put a finger on his lips.

"Stop whining and go get dressed!" she commanded him, pinching his ass. She then got on her tiptoes, and kissed him gently, sucking his bottom lip before turning around and locking herself up in the bathroom. Ross sighed in frustration.

The restaurant was very romantic and intimate, perfect to enjoy each other's company without feeling observed. During the dinner they talked sweetly to each other while from time to time their hands found their way to each other across the table. They were all lovey-dovey and looked like a couple who had just fallen in love.

On the way back home they decided to take a walk along the river, the water was calm and the shiny moonlight of that night created a more romantic atmosphere.

They got back home by midnight but the celebration wasn't over. Rachel went straight to the bathroom to take her makeup off and "prepare" for bed. He, in their room, smiled naughtily as he took his clothes off and put his pajama pants on, he then unmade the bed, laid down, covering himself with the sheets, and closed his eyes. He would make her believe he was sleeping.

Just five minutes later the bathroom door opened.

"Honey…" she called sensually as she exited dressed in just a sexy black night gown. She expected to find him sitting on their bed, waiting for her impatiently but instead, she found him laying on his stomach and "asleep". She frowned very disappointed and walked towards him. She placed one of her hands on his shoulder and shook him repeatedly to wake him up.

"Honey!" she growled shacking him harder but she got no response, she now knew he was playing with her because of what she had done sooner that evening. She put her hands on her waist and lifted one of her eyebrows. "So…you wanna play, huh?..." he didn't answer or move a muscle "Okay, let's play, you know I ALWAYS win at this game…" she said as she threw the sheets away and sat on his butt, she then stroked his fit back and leaned in placing her lips near his ear. "Are you sure you wanna sleep?" she whispered as she caressed his fit arms "Don't you wanna…make love to me?" she whispered in a sadder tone now before biting his earlobe. He swallowed and turned his head to the other side, her strokes and words were having an effect on him. She smiled naughtily seeing he was getting nervous under her touch; she went to his other ear now.

"Come on baby…open your eyes….I know you're dying to see me in this sexy night gown…" she whispered sensually again but frowned seeing she wasn't getting any response so she decided to turn him around. She pulled of him strongly and rolling him over she sat on his hips; his eyelids trembled a little with the contact of her body on his, and she noticed.

She bit her bottom lip as she started caressing his chest painfully slow, then his marked abdomen and then her hands went up to his shoulders. She leaned in and stopped just some millimeters away from his lips, she could feel his increasing breathing on her face and she knew she was close to winning the battle. She gently licked his lips and then caught his upper lip between hers, sucking it she deepened the kiss and his lips didn't attempt to stop it. She then led her wet lips to his neck and started giving him open-mouthed kisses, those she knew he loved so much and always turned him on. She slowly went down his body, sucking every part of his skin; his breathing and his heart beating increased considerably, he almost couldn't take it anymore, his whole body was trembling as he felt her wet lips go lower and lower his body. She looked up at him and grinned, his screwed face reflected his struggles to keep himself calm; she was enjoying torturing him. Her lips then reached his navel where she drew little circles around it with her tongue, his body tensed up a little more, it was becoming unbearable for him to stay cool. She sucked the skin just above the waistband of his pants and then sneaked some fingers under it but when she was about to take them off she felt two strong hands grab her arms and pulled of her, he brusquely turned her around and kissed her wildly. She smiled proudly into his kiss and pushed him a little to look at his eyes.

"You're soo weak" she said giggling.

"Can you blame me? You know exactly what to do to drive me crazy, there is no way I could ever win." he said giving her little pecks on the lips and stroking her long legs. She smiled widely.

"I know, you're a poor looser." she teased him.

"Okay I am, but please, less talking and more kissing or I'll go insane." he begged, she laughed loudly and putting her hands on his face she led him to her lips and kissed him passionately. They were ready for a long night of reliving that crazy night that got them back together three years ago.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The moment they arrived to the hospital a nurse guided them to Dr Smith's office.

"Doctor Smith will be here in a few minutes" she announced before closing the door leaving them alone in the room. They sat silently on the two chairs before the desk. Ross observed her from the corner of his eyes; she was looking around the room,

visibly nervous and shaking her legs up and down. He held her hand between his and caressed it to calm her down; she looked at him and thanked his gesture with a smile.

"Everything is gonna be okay, you'll see" he said, lifting her hand and planting a kiss on it. She smiled again.

"Thank you for trying to calm me down" she murmured before placing her lips on his and brushing them gently. Just then the Doctor entered.

"Excuse me for the late" he said as he warmly greeted them and then sat on his chair in front of them, he opened one of his folders and looked at her.

"Well, Miss Green, we got your blood results yesterday and…we've found an unusual number of leukocytes in your blood which…."

"Please, go straight to the point" she begged him, now sure that he wasn't going to tell her she was pregnant. "I do not understand all those medical terms."

"Okay…." he closed the folder he had on his table and entwined before looking at them serious "we still need to do some more tests to confirm it, but there is a high chance that you may be suffering leukemia…I'm sorry."

::::::::::::::

I warned this fic would be more dramatic, but don't jump into conclusions, give the story a chance. ;)

**Reviews are very appreciated. **


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

_-we still need to do some more tests to confirm it, but there is a high chance that you may be suffering...leukemia…I'm sorry. _

Leukemia….

That simple word felt as if a shot had crossed her chest and broken everything inside of her, leaving her still…paralyzed…bleeding inside. Her eyes were fixed on the man in front of her but she didn't see anything; the bright white room they were in was now a deep dark hole she had fallen into and couldn't get away from.

The feeling of a warm hand on hers instantly brought her back to life, out of that scary hole; she looked at him and saw her same fear, the same anguish and uncertainty. After some minutes of silence Ross talked.

"That's…that's blood cancer…right?" his voice cracked, the doctor could perceive his pain and worry through his eyes.

"Yes, it is." he gulped and looked at Rachel, who was now staring at her lap and hadn't pronounced a word for a long time.

"And….how is it…treated?"

"It depends on how far along the cancer is…but mainly chemotherapy…" he saw him lower his head as he kept caressing his girlfriend's hand. "I know this is hard to accept, but we need to take bone marrow and blood samples as soon as possible to confirm it and know which phase you're in….so if you have some time now…." he asked carefully.

"…okay…" she finally said seemingly ready but trembling inside.

"Please follow me" the doctor got up and so did they.

"Can I go with her?" he asked with pleading eyes. Doctor Smith thought for a moment but finally accepted.

After taking her blood sample he led them to another room, even whiter than the first one and full of metallic instruments that didn't make her feel any calmer.

They were left alone so Rachel could undress herself and put the classic hospital gown on. While she changed Ross was sitting on a near chair, his eyes looking at his entwined hands as he tried to find an answer to what was happening; maybe all this was a dream? Yeah, just a terrible dream… a nightmare he couldn't wait to wake up from; he sighed frustrated, who was he kidding? He was fully awake, and the anguish he was feeling inside couldn't be just product of his imagination.

He lifted his gaze and found her already sitting on the stretcher, serious and looking straight into the white wall in front of her; he could read in her eyes every thought that was crossing her mind. He walked towards her and stood before her; her eyes met his, she wanted to tell him everything she was feeling, how scared she was but her dry throat seemed to be closed up, blocked. She knew he had read her mind when he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly while he sweetly kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes strongly trying not to shed the tears already forming in her eyes; even though there were no words between them they knew exactly what the other was thinking, that hug said it all.

Little later a nurse came in accompanied by Doctor Smith; he asked Rachel to lay on top of the stretcher, facing down. Ross stayed near her head, not letting go of her hand for a moment. She still hadn't said a thing but he knew her well enough to know she was terrified.

The nurse cleaned her lower back while the doctor prepared the anesthesia.

"Okay, this is going to hurt a little…" he warned her before sinking the thin needle into her flesh to anesthetize the area; she squeezed Ross' hand the moment she felt the sharp prick on her back, he squatted before her and kissed her forehead again and again.

They waited some minutes for the anesthesia to make effect and then the doctor buried a wider needle into her lower back. She bit her lip in pain; in spite of the anaesthesia she still could feel the pressure of the thin metal piercing her.

"You're doing great hon." Ross whispered into her ear as he kept kissing her forehead. He had to close his eyes when he saw a tear escape from her tightly closed eyes. It was killing him to see her like that and know he couldn't do anything about it.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The sun had practically disappeared when they got into their car and made their way to pick Emma up from Ross' mom. Dead silence filled the vehicle; she was looking straight into the road but her mind seemed to be out of there and her mouth had remained sealed since the horrible news. Ross looked at her several times from the corner of his eyes, not knowing what to tell her, he just wanted to comfort her, hug her and make her forget that unique word that had turned their world upside down.

He stopped the car in the porch and looked at Rachel.

"Do you want to come inside?..." She shook her head no.

"I'd rather wait you here…"

"…okay…"

"Please don't take long…I wanna go home…" she begged.

"Don't worry; I'll be here in the blink of an eye."

He got out of the house a few minutes later carrying in his arms an ever happy Emma, who had started waving at her mom from the moment they had crossed the main door; That simple act of her daughter made her smile and forget everything for a moment. Rachel opened the car door and waited her with opened arms.

"Mommy!" she jumped off her dad's arms and ran towards her mother.

"Hi sweetheart!" she wrapped her arms around her tiny body and pressed her tightly against her chest; Ross smiled and felt a little relieved seeing her smile again. "I missed you little bundle of energy!"

"I miss you too mommy."

"Did you have fun with gramma Judy and grampa Jack?"

"hm-um" the little girl nodded and rested her head on her mother's shoulder as the car started moving again. They got home near 8 pm; Ross stopped the car in their garage and hurried to help Rachel.

"Here let me take Em" he said as he grabbed his daughter from Rachel's arms and helped her get out with his other hand; Emma observed curiously the way her mother got out of the car; slowly and frowning.

"What happened to mommy?"

"Her…back is sore…" he quickly replied.

"Why? Did you fall mommy?"

"…yeah…silly mommy fell down…" Rachel lied, it was easier that way.

"I'm gonna put Emma to bed…" he said before she could ask something else. Rachel nodded and headed to their room. She turned the lamp on and sat carefully on the bed. Being there alone brought everything back to her mind, she knew something was wrong but never had she imagined it would be cancer…cancer…she repeated in her head, her eyes filled with tears, tears of fear, of pure anguish, she angrily kicked the floor with her foot, letting her fury show up. She immediately brushed her tears away when she heard footsteps getting closer.

"Does your back still hurt?..." he asked from the door seeing how she was rubbing her low back.

"A little…"

"I'm gonna get you that pill the doctor gave us…"

when he got back with the pill and a glass of water she was still sitting on the bed, but now her face was buried in her own hands and her hair was all over covering it. He got closer to her and squatted before her.

"Here, take this" he handed her the pill but she didn't take it or even move. He then left the glass on the bedside table and lifted her head; as he removed her hair off her face he noticed she was crying silently.

"Rach…" he let out in a sigh, completely broken-hearted; He immediately leaned in and wrapped her safely around his arms. He felt her rest her head on his shoulder and burst loudly into tears against his neck.

"Shh don't cry baby, please" his voice cracked, his eyes filled with tears hearing her desperate crying, but he fought to keep them from falling, he had to be strong for her. He had to seem confident to help her forget about all this hell.

"Ross,I'm scared…" she confessed between loud sobs; her tears kept falling as rivers soaking Ross' neck. He winced at her words not knowing what to say, he was scared too, probably even more than her, all he could do was to hug her tighter, comfort her, since his own anguish and tears ready to fall wouldn't let him talk even if he wanted to. She cried on his arms for several more minutes till her dry eyes couldn't shed any more tears.

He pulled apart and took her face between his hands, drying her tears with his thumbs he leaned in and sweetly kissed her forehead. He then looked deep into her reddened eyes.

"Everything is gonna be fine okay?" he told her without blinking, faking to be completely sure of it. She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes again, she wanted to believe him, she did, but it was so hard…she opened them again and looked at him.

"How do you know everything is gonna be fine!" she almost shouted.

"Because I know you, and I know you'll get through this as you always did with everything else that got in your way!"

"Ross, this is not a bad relationship or a job lost! This is cancer!" she said out loud as she brusquely removed his hands off her face and got up from the bed. He closed his eyes fighting to keep his pain inside; he slowly got up and turned around; she was giving him the back but he could feel she was crying again.

He placed his hands on her waist and forced her to turn around; as she did she buried her head into his chest seeking the comfort of his arms. He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. He bit his bottom lip as trying to keep it cool, but her sobs against his chest were killing him.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered when she managed to stop sobbing "I didn't mean to yell at you."

"Shh, it's okay…"

"I just can't believe this is happening…"

"I know, I can't believe it either, but we have to be positive…"

"I don't wanna die…" she confessed her biggest fear.

"Hey hey hey" he exclaimed grabbing her arms and pulling her away to look right into her eyes "you're NOT gonna die, you hear me?" he said with trembling voice.

"Ross! a lot of people die from cancer!…why would it be different for me?" she said getting teay-eyed again.

"Because you're the strongest women I've ever known! You won't die of cancer! It's not possible, and I don't want to hear that word from your mouth ever again! Okay?" she nodded and hugged him tightly again, burying her face into his neck and pressing her body as close as possible to his. "you're gonna be sick for some time, but you'll get through it, I know it." he kissed her head and embraced her the same way.

"Thanks for being with me…I don't know what I would do without you" she whispered.

"No thanks needed hon, now let's get in bed, you need some rest." she nodded with half a smile as received a sweet kiss on the lips from him.

He helped her change into her pajamas since her back was still very sore and didn't let her move properly. She then took the pill from the bedside table and swallowed it with the help of water.

She lay on the bed surrounded by his arms and the feeling of his lips caressing her temple.

"Honey…can you do me a favor?"

"Always."

"Don't tell anybody about all this…please...I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me."

"But…they'll find out sooner or later honey."

"I know, but just not now….I need some time."

"Okay, we'll wait as long as you want…" he said kissing her forehead.

"Thank you" she whispered as she curled up more into his body, wanting to feel him as close as possible; she finally decided to forget about the whole thing and try for some sleep, she really needed it.

He saw how her eyes slowly closed and her breathing slowed down as she sank into a profound sleep. He watched her sleep between his arms for what seemed like a lifetime; all the events of that day wouldn't let him fall asleep, he kissed her temple once again, and then directed his gaze to the ceiling; being there in the complete silence of the night made his thoughts emerge, her words echoed in his head over and over again, bringing quiet tears to his eyes. Suddenly his own throat felt too small to breathe, his eyes couldn't keep the tears anymore and they freely fell over his temple till soaking the white pillow. He carefully took his arm off her body and dried his eyes with his fingers but it was useless since some more tears fell down wetting his cheeks; he suddenly felt the urge to get out of there, he couldn't breathe properly and it scared him that she would wake up and see him crying.

He quickly got dressed and without even bothering to grab a jacket he left the house.

He decided to walk instead of taking the car; maybe the fresh air of the night would make him feel better. He reached the river in less than ten minutes since their house wasn't very far from there; he had his hands on the pockets of his sweatpants and his head low observing how his sneakers kicked the stones as he walked aimlessly around there. The night was chilly and dark, but neither his mind nor his body cared about it.

He stopped just some feet away from the shore and gazed at the dark horizon, just the soft moon light was reflecting on the calm water, but he didn't see anything of that as the image of her worried face was set on his retina. Dozens of tears rushed their way down his cheeks as he recalled her words, "I don't wanna die..:". Thinking about sentence scared the hell out of him.

He kicked a rock with all his fury, throwing it into the river as he let some of his desperation escape his body. The lump on his throat seemed to be getting bigger by the second forcing him to breathe deeper. That was it, he needed talk to someone, someone who could tell him everything was gonna be okay, someone he could sincerely talk with and let go of the anguish that was eating him alive…but who?

She went down the stairs quickly, startled by the incessant knocking on the door. She tied her robe firmly around her body and immediately opened the door. Her face went pale when she saw a broken Ross standing on the other side.

"Wh…wh…what are you doing here?" she stuttered as she looked at her watch: 1am. "Where is Rachel?" she asked looking behind him. Her heart stopped when he started crying in front of her; that was a Ross she had never seen ever before, and it scared her.

"Ross! What's going on?" she exclaimed worried. She grabbed his hand and made him enter the house. "Did you have a fight with Jen?" he shook his head no and immediately threw himself into his sister's arms as he cried louder. Monica winced even more worried.

"For god's sake Ross, say something! You're scaring me!" he stepped away and looked down trying to collect himself.

"She is sick…" he finally managed to say. Monica frowned a bit confused.

"Who is sick? Emma again?" he shook his head again.

"Rachel."

"What? Rach? What does she have?"

"Cancer…" his voice cracked as he fought to keep the tears inside. Monica's jaw dropped not believing what she had just heard.

"What?" she exclaimed after some minutes of shock. "you've got to be kidding.."

"I wish I was" he confessed, she knew he wasn't lying, his eyes showed all his pain. She brought her hands to her mouth still in disbelief as her eyes watered.

She gulped and grabbing his hand she led him to the living room. There they sat, and stayed in silence for quite some minutes, it was too much to take so early in the morning.

"How, when…did you find out…?" she managed to ask, as she was still in shock.

"This evening…" she gulped again.

"…..but….is it confirmed?"

"Pretty much yes…" she bit her lips now remembering all those times she had noticed she wasn't her own self and how low she had seen her several times."

"Oh god…this can't be happening" she brought her hands to her forehead as she shook it from side to side.

"I've been telling that to myself all day…" she looked at him, now at the light of the lamp she could see how red and swelled his eyes were.

"How is she?"

"Not well…she tried to hide her fear but as soon as we got home she cried her eyes out…and it killed me Monica, I can't see her like that, I can't…and I don't know what to do…I'm so scared" he confessed while two tears went down his face; it broke Monica's heart to see him like that. She grabbed his hand and caressed it as she tried to calm him.

"Sweetie, she is gonna be fine, This is Rachel we're talking about! When has she ever given up on anything?"

"I know, that's what I told her, but she seemed so down that it worries me…"

"It's normal; she is as shock as we are…but you'll see she'll get through it."

"I know she'll get through it, but WHY had to happen this now? Why when we are all happy…when everything was perfect in our life had to come something and ruin it?!" he exclaimed desperate. "she doesn't deserve this Mon…she doesn't deserve to go through a cancer…" he lowered his face, his throat closed because of his anguish. Monica guided her hand to his cheek and stroked it softly.

"I know, she doesn't deserve it, none does, but that's the way it is, and we can't do anything but accept it and stay positive, okay? I don't want to see you sad anymore, you hear me? That won't help her nor you…you have to support her and be as great a boyfriend as you've been all these years okay?" he nodded with a small smile and hugged her.

"Thanks Mon, and sorry for bothering you at this time, I just needed to talk to someone" they split and she kissed his cheek.

"That's what sister's are for." She smiled "I'm here for you, whenever you need it…if you need to talk call me or come here" he thanked her with a smile and then looked at his watch; sunrise was around the corner.

"I think I'm gonna go…" he stood up and so she did.

"Okay…by the way, tell her I'll go see her tomorrow when I have some free time" he suddenly remembered her wish.

"Okay, but please, don't tell her I've told you about it, she doesn't want anybody to know yet…"

"I won't say a word." once in the main door they said good bye to each other, but Ross stopped half way outside the driveway.

"Mon!" she opened the door again confused.

"yeah?"

"Could you drive me home?" he asked shyly.

"How did you get here? she asked surprised knowing there are several miles from her house to theirs.

"I took a cab, and I ran out of cash…" she chuckled.

"Let's go." she said as she grabbed the car keys.


	6. Chapter 6

**I apologise for the name confusion in previous and possibly upcoming chapters, I wrote this long ago and I only have time to correct major grammar mistakes.**

**Thanks Sophia for letting me know you like the fic **

**CHAPTER 6**

As expected, three days later the tests confirmed she had Leukaemia. It didn't catch them by surprise since they hadn't kept their hopes too high for a different result, but hearing it again hurt as much as the very first time. Luckily, the cancer wasn't too advanced but it still required several chemotherapies.

And there she was now, in that white, spacious, but almost empty room for the third time in two months. She was finally getting used to being in the hospital and she thanked god she had a private room for herself; it made things a bit easier.

She had been offered to follow the treatment in her house but she refused right away, the last thing she wanted was for her daughter to see her in such condition. As much as she hated that place she would take anything for her daughter's sake.

She had already had two chemotherapies, and surprisingly she hadn't felt almost any of the symptoms just yet. But this third one was starting to make an effect on her.

She looked down at her arm, where a thin tube was stuck to it and introduced the freezing green liquid into her body. Her right arm felt heavy…frozen after hours of being there motionless, letting the liquid navigate through her veins, burning everything in its way.

She then looked up at the plastic bag that contained the killing liquid, it was almost empty, which made her sigh in relief; she was eager to get out of there.

She directed her sight to the man, her man, sitting in a chair next to her. She immediately smiled adoringly seeing how he had fallen asleep in that not-so-comfortable chair; his head was tilted to the left, almost touching his shoulder and his mouth was slightly opened. She stared at him for several minutes, not wanting to wake him up yet, he looked so tired…she suddenly felt a little guilty; he had been working late nights just so he could accompany her to her usual appointments and help her with anything she needed during the day.

She smiled again, acknowledging how wonderful and supportive he had been those past months since they had known the news. She knew if it wasn't for him or their daughter she wouldn't have the strength to go through this.

"Honey!" she whispered "shh Ross wake up." she said again but he didn't move. "HONEY!" she said louder making him wake up startled. Rachel had to laugh at his confused look.

"What…?"

"I'm almost done"

"Already?"

"Already? We've been here for 3 hours!"

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"Well, one for you, you spent the other two sleeping like a baby" she said smiling.

"…I'm so sorry honey…"he apologized as he got up and sat next to her on the bed and kissed her head.

"Don't be, you really needed some sleep."

"How are you feeling so far?"

"Fine…although my right arm seems to weight more than my whole body right now…"

Few minutes later the bag was empty and a nurse came into the room to check on her. As everything seemed to be well they left the hospital soon after, just in time to pick up Emma from preschool.

"Hi mommy!" she exclaimed cheerfully from the back seat while her daddy buckled the belt around her body.

"Hi sweetheart, how was your day at school?"

"Okay…"

"Just okay..? What happened?" Rachel asked a bit concerned by her quiet tone. "Emma…?"

"A boy pushed me in the patio…" she said shyly looking down at her lap.

"What?!" Ross exclaimed hearing this as he got in the front seat.

"How that happened?" Rachel asked as worried as him.

"He just pushed me mommy, I didn't do anything."

"So you didn't tell him anything to make him angry?" she shook her head with sad eyes.

"No, he just said I was ugly and silly, and then pushed me" Rachel smiled at this. "am I ugly, mommy?"

"Of course not honey!"

"You're just as gorgeous as your mother." Ross added, Rachel sent him a heartfelt smile.

"And you know why this boy pushed you? Because he likes you!" Emma frowned in confusion.

"No mommy, he said I was ugly!"

"He said so because he thinks you are pretty!" Emma, more confused than before lifted an eyebrow, copying her mother's gesture.

"….I don't understand mommy..."

"Boys do that…you'll understand when you grow up." Emma shrugged still confused and forgot about this issue.

"Mmmh daddy, can I go tomorrow to Jay's house, pleeease? She has a new puppy and I want to see it!"

"Oh sweetheart, I'm afraid not, tomorrow is your cousin Rain's birthday…"

"Are we visiting auntie Phoebe?!" Emma said excited.

"Yeap."

"YAY!" she exclaimed as she clapped her hands making her parents laugh.

Later that day they were having dinner together, Emma played with the tomato cherries on her plate while Rachel tried to swallow her food but the wave of nauseas she had been feeling for the past hour was making it a hard task. She suddenly brought her hands to her mouth and ran towards the bathroom. Emma stopped playing and looked at her father with questioning eyes.

"What is wrong with mommy?"

"Finish eating that honey, I'll be right back." Ross ordered as he quickly followed Rachel, very concerned. His heart ached when he opened the door and saw her leaning on the toilet throwing up every little liquid she had inside. He knelt down beside her and held her hair until she was done. Her face was pale and she was sweating because of the effort she had made.

"Do you feel better now?" Ross asked as he helped her up and placed his hand on her forehead, she was a little hot.

"Not quite…I feel weak..." she said leaning on him, her sight was blurry and her hands were trembling. "This one is hitting me hard…" she whispered. Ross bit his bottom lip and wrapped his arm around her waist to help her walk.

"C'mon honey, I think you should go to bed now" He helped her change into her pajamas and get into bed. She was feeling dizzy and her whole body started hurting as if thousands of little needles were running through it.

"I'll be back once I put Em to bed okay?" Rachel nodded and smiled weakly; he sweetly kissed her forehead and left the room feeling impotent.

"Have you finished your dinner sweetheart?" he asked as he entered the kitchen, the little girl nodded and looked at him with worried expression.

"Mommy is not coming?"

"No honey, she is tired and went to bed…"

"But I didn't give her my good night kiss…" she said lowering her head saddened. Ross lifted her up from her stool and placed her on the floor.

"C'mon, go before she falls asleep!" the little girl smiled and ran towards her parent's bedroom. Once there she peeked through the slightly open door and whispered to check whether she was already sleeping. Rachel turned on the lights.

"Come in honey…" Emma smiled and ran towards her bed, she carefully climbed into it and lay beside her mom, placing her hand on her cheek and looking up at her.

"Are you sick mommy?"

"A little…but I'll be fine" she kissed her daughter's head.

"Do you want me to make you chocolate milk as you do when I'm sick?" she asked in the sweetest way making her smile broadly.

"Thanks sweetheart, but I'm okay."

"Okay…I came to give you my good night kiss!" she said happily as she knelt beside her and pressed her lips against her mother's cheek making a loud noise.

"Awww, thank you honey! I knew I couldn't fall asleep for a reason." she sweetly said hugging her daughter tightly; the pain intensified because of the effort she was making but nothing could prevent her from showing her love to her daughter.

"I love you so so so so much mommy!" she said hugging her back, those words from her daughter worked better than any other medicine in the world and put on her face the biggest smile.

"I love you so so so much too!" she kissed her head again and kept her arms around her neck until Ross came into the room.

"Okay, time to go to bed, peanut."

"No! I want to sleep here with mommy!" she stated grabbing a hold of her mother.

"I'm sorry princess, but your mom is sick and needs a good sleep."

"I won't move or kick I promise!" Rachel chuckled at her daughters words.

"C'mon honey, your dad is right…I'll see you first thing in the morning, alright?" Emma looked up at her with sad eyes. Ross leaned in and picked her up.

"Don't get angry, we'll let you sleep here other night okay?" the girl shrugged still angry but let her dad carry her.

"Say good night to mommy."

"Good night…" Ross lowered her a little so she could kiss her again.

"Good night, sweetheart."

After putting her daughter to bed Ross went back to his room; he carefully got into bed thinking she was asleep, but she wasn't and she wrapped her arm around his waist as she rested her head on his chest.

"Can't sleep?"

"Nu-uh…" he slid his hand up and down her arm and kissed her head.

"Do you want a tea or something?"

"Nuh…I don't think I could get anything through my throat today."

"Well just try to catch some sleep, you'll feel better tomorrow." she nodded and closed her eyes; falling asleep in his arms had always been easy, and it wasn't different this time. He gave her peace and security; with him by her side everything had a brighter light.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

In spite of her wishes the next morning she didn't feel any better, the nauseas had in fact disappeared but whenever she tried to move a muscle of her body it caused a major pain

that ran all through her body. She felt the need to go to the bathroom but her body weighted as if a thick wooden block was pushing her against the bed. After trying exhaustingly she managed to get into the bathroom where she stayed for half an hour, just recovering from the huge effort. Ross woke up and got worried when he didn't see her in bed.

"Rach, are you here?" he said as he knocked on the bathroom door.

"Yes, come in."

"How are you feeling...?"

"How I feel…? Well "Like shit" would be an understatement!" she said sarcastically, the frustration she was feeling brought tears to her eyes. Ross winced not knowing what to say to make her feel better; he just enveloped her with his arms, wishing he were the one going through that hell instead of her.

"God! I can barely move without feeling I'm breaking inside" she sobbed.

"I think we should call Phoebe and say we're not coming…" she pulled back and dried her tears.

"But Emma was so excited about going; I don't want to disappoint her."

"Honey, your health comes first; we'll visit them when you feel better."

"No, I think you should go with her…she is eager to see her cousins…I'll be fine."

"Rach, there's no way I'm leaving you like this."

"Ross, I'm not paralytic!" she raised her tone of voice, a bit annoyed.

"I know you're not! But you're not okay either! What if you fall or faint!"

"Don't get paranoid! I'll be fine…besides I'm gonna be in bed all day, what's the point of you being here?" her words upset him in a way. He was just trying to take care of her and she pushed him away.

"Okay, fine…just call me if you need anything…" He said low while walking out of the bathroom to go wake up Emma. Guiltiness filled her body as she saw him leave the house with a sad look in his eyes. She had been mean with him but she hated to be the reason of all the latest changes, she wanted everything to stay the same.

He observed her daughter playing with her cousins on the backyard, she seemed so happy, a feeling completely different to what he was experiencing that moment. All his friends were around but yet he couldn't enjoy their company, not when the love of his life was dealing with the pain all alone in their house.

"You okay?" he turned around to find his sister, rubbing his arm sympathetically.

"Yeah…"

"That sounded convincing." She added with irony. "what's up?"

"You know, Rachel…I hate leaving her alone when she is in pain."

"Then why didn't you stay? I'm sure Phoebe would've understood."

"I tried, but she wouldn't let me. You know how stubborn she gets sometimes…Plus, she didn't want Emma to miss the party. But I can't be at ease while she is suffering."

"Would you feel better if I go check on her?" Monica suggested after a while.

"That would be great…but I don't want to spoil your day…"

"That's no problem, I miss Rachel too, we haven't had a girls' day in a long time. It will be fun to catch up."

"Really? You don't mind?"

"As long as you help Chandler watching the twins..."

"Of course." He smiled broadly, bringing his sister into a hug and kissing her head. "Thank you."

"You're welcome; I'll call you if we need you."

::::::::::::::::::::::

He finally parked his car on the driveway; his desire to see her had made the day twice as long and felt as though he had been out for days.

He took a sleeping Emma out of the car, she was exhausted after being running and playing all day long and she had spent the entire ride back sleeping peacefully. He put her to bed and then he carefully opened the door to his own bedroom, it was late and he didn't want to wake her up, but as the previous night she hadn't been able to fall asleep without him.

"Thanks for sending Monica over" Rachel whispered making him startle. He turned around to look at her and got closer.

"I thought you were sleeping…"

"I couldn't, not without apologizing to you…" she said as she lay on her side and caressed his cheek.

"It's okay…I know you didn't mean it."

"Still…I should have shut up and let you stay, I missed you…" she confessed as she leaned in to kiss him. He smiled and kissed her back tenderly while his arms wrapped her body and brought her closer. She pulled away and leaned her forehead against his.

"I'm sorry" she murmured "Don't you ever listen to me again okay? Even if I shout at you! Just stay, please…" she begged and his face lit up with the biggest smile.

"I'll take that into account…so…how do you feel?"

"Well, I'm not dizzy or nauseous anymore, but the pain is still bothering."

"I'm glad you feel better, you'll see tomorrow you won't feel a thing."

"I hope you're right," she snuggled up against him, wanting to be as close to him as possible. "do you have to work tomorrow?" it wasn't a question but a saddened statement.

"Sadly yes…I wish I could get away from it…but we have two months left, you know."

"I know..."

"But I'll try to come as soon as I can." he said squeezing her gently while kissing her temple.

"You better! Emma and I will be waiting for you at the edge of our seats….especially me" she sensually whispered into his ear as her fingertips drew the line of his collar bone. That simple touch of her mixed with her sensual voice turned him on. Before he could think anything her lips were on his own, warmly kissing them. They sunk into that kiss for some minutes, just enjoying it. Rachel pulled away making him whine in disappointment. She looked at him tenderly and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Can you wait a few more days?" she asked biting her lip; Ross grabbed her face and gave her peck on the lips.

"Of course honey, but don't tease me this way, I'm not made of iron, you know" he said a little embarrassed because of the state he had gotten into with just a kiss from her.

"I'll try" she said with a smile and rested her head on his chest to finally get some sleep.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

He inserted his keys on the door and entered into his house, happy to be there after a long day of work. He heard voices coming from the main bedroom. He knocked quietly and opened the door to find his two girls watching a movie in bed.

"Daddyyyyyyy!" the little girl yelled thrilled the moment she saw her father entering. He smiled widely and got closer to the bed to greet them.

"Hi princess" he leaned in to kiss her head and then turned to his girlfriend "hi honey" she stopped the movie and smiled widely while receiving a gentle kiss on the lips. "How have you been today?" he asked while sitting opposite her on the bed.

"Much better" he smiled since she actually looked better than the previous days, her cheeks had recovered some of its natural color and her eyes were brighter. Sure enough being with Emma all day had cheered her up.

"Great!" he said looking into her eyes and smiling.

"How was your day?"

"Okay…but too long! I was eager to come home and be with my girls…" her little daughter coughed to call for his attention.

"Daddyyy!" she said loudly; he turned his attention to Emma and smiled sweetly.

"Yes, hon?"

"We're watching Stuart Little. Do you wanna watch with us? It's about a mouse that talks!"

"Sure!" he took off his shoes and got onto the other side. Emma climbed onto his lap as she giggled at the movie.

"Honey can you give her a bath and tuck her in?" Rachel asked once the movie was over "I haven't had a chance to eat yet."

"Of course. Come here sweetheart" he held her up and carried her to the bathroom.

Thirty minutes later he could finally leave his daughter's bedroom. He sighed in relief after the exhausting process of getting her to sleep. He went back to the kitchen and found her putting away the dishes.

"Do you need help with that?"

"No, I'm almost done here. Thanks honey." She thanked with a smile.

"Okay, I am gonna take a quick shower, if you need me."

"Sure."

Rachel walked into the bathroom and smiled after finding him in the bathtub and not in the shower as he had said. She quietly knelt down behind him and slid her hands into the foam-covered water, softly resting them on his chest.

"Shit! You scared me." He startled, opening his eyes wide.

"What happened to the quick shower, mister?" she softly whispered in his ear, wrapping her arms over his torso.

"The tub was more tempting." He grabbed her hands and caressed her arms as he closed his eyes again.

"Lots of thinking to do?" she wondered aloud, knowing he only took baths when he was feeling overwhelmed. He shook his head.

"Nah, just felt like relaxing a little. You should get it, it feels amazing."

"I already took a shower." He gave her a look.

"And…? C'mon." she didn't need to think twice. She stood up and stripped down before his attentive eyes. She sat in between his legs and let his arms envelop her. She closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth that his body and the water provided.

"I missed you…" she murmured, gazing at their joined hands, resting on her stomach.

"I missed you too, terribly…" he said the same way as his lips traveled to her neck and his hands stroked up and down her naked stomach.

"I think I'm going mad without you here." she confessed, tilting her head back to one side.

"Don't say that…you know I'd love to be here with you 24 hours a day, but,I can't."

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just that… I can't do so many thing; I can't work, I can hardly go out, I can't meet my friends because everybody's busy…and I sometimes feel trapped in this apartment."

"I'm sorry you feel that way…but I promise I'm gonna make more time for you, whatever it takes. And once the course is over I'll be all yours, night and day…"

"Mmmh I'm looking forward to that moment." she smiled as she tenderly rubbed her cheek against his. "will you take me to that beautiful house again?"

"Yeah, whatever my woman wants…" he whispered, planting a kiss on her shoulder.

"We should probably get out, I've been here over an hour and my fingers already look like raisins." She immediately moved, but instead of getting out she turned around and sat on his lap.

"Just one more minute." she whispered wrapping her arms around his neck. Her lips soon brushed his very softly, slowly turning into a deep, hot, passionate kiss that left both of them breathless.

"What was that for?" he asked surprised by her sudden show of affection. She shrugged before kissing him again. He giddily licked his lips as he placed his hands on her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. His hands travelled all over her smooth skin. "You look so beautiful." he said hypnotized by her shiny blue eyes. She blushed a little and smiled shyly, leaning in to kiss him. Her arms found their way around his neck and got rid of the space between their bodies, getting carried away by that kiss. She instinctively started rocking her hips against his crotch, getting a few moans out of him. The friction mixed with the kiss were driving him crazy with desire and he knew if he didn't stop it soon he wouldn't be able to do it later. He firmly gripped her hips as he let out a gasp.

"What did I tell you last night? Stop torturing me, please" he begged. Rachel chuckled as she slid her index finger down his chest.

"Do you really want me to stop…? I was thinking…." she leaned in and started kissing his cheek sweetly "we could give this bath an amazing ending…" she sensually whispered into his ear. His eyes widened in excitement.

"Really?" She smiled and nodded "your body doesn't hurt anymore?" he asked hopeful.

"It still does, but I can't wait any longer, I need you…I WANT you" his broad smile transmitted his enormous happiness. He pulled of her and kissed her lips with all his passion. His hands on her back pushed her as close as possible, loving the feeling of her wet skin pressed up against his own.

"You liked the news, didn't you? she said half laughing against his kiss.

"You bet I did." he exclaimed smiling and kissed her again, more passionately than before.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

She looked at her reflection in the mirror for what seemed like hours, trying to figure out who the woman staring back at her on the other side was. It definitely didn't feel like herself. Her face had gotten thinner because of her weight loss while her blue eyes, with grayish rings underneath, were the proper expression of exhaustion and her lips were dry and cut no matter how much Vaseline she had put on them. She wanted to yell in frustration, that woman wasn't her, she kept repeating in her mind. Two hands placed on her shoulders brought her out of her trance.

"So, do you like it?" his long time friend asked her, she shrugged her shoulders not showing any excitement.

"C'mon honey! You look amazing! Why that face?"

"I feel weird…"

"Why? You've had this cut before, it looks amazing on you!"

"I just miss my long hair…" she confessed, she brought her hand to her head and slid it along her honey colored hair which now came down to her chin "I guess I'll get used to it."

"You will, now don't forget to take that ampoule I gave you every time you wash your hair, it will keep them from falling." she nodded and half smiled at Phoebe through the mirror.

She had decided to get her hair cut after it had started to fall in abundance due to the chemotherapy's side effects. She shivered at the memory of that day when she was showering and she got a handful of her fallen hairs. The scream that escaped her throat even woke up Ross, who ran desperately to the bathroom; he found her on the floor of the shower, naked and with her head hidden between her bended legs as she cried. She remembered how he embraced her tightly and swayed her while the water soaked his pajamas.

A knock on the door caught her attention.

"We came to pick up the most beautiful woman in the world!" he said out loud as he entered the house.

"But Ross, I'm already home." Phoebe joked as they greeted each other.

"Auntie!"

"Hey gorgeous!" Emma jumped from her daddy's arms and happily hugged her while Ross walked into the bathroom.

"Where is the woman of my life?" Rachel smiled and turned around to find him standing by the door watching her with lovely eyes; she encircled his waist with her arms as she greeted him with a tender kiss.

"You look stunning…" he whispered into her ear.

"Really? you like it?"

"Yeah!"

"You're not just saying?"

"Honey, you look even more beautiful if it's possible" he kissed the tip of her nose and drove her closer. Rachel smiled widely; he always managed to make her feel better.

"I feel kind of weird…"

"How come? You had this same cut a few years ago, in fact, right about the time we made Emma," Rachel's eyes widened in surprise.

"How can you remember that?"

"Honey, I remember every little detail about you…" he sweetly said "you had me head over heels in love with you."

"wow…that much?"

"mh-uh"

"Well, you surely did a hell of a good job hiding it."

"That's because I'm a terrific actor" he said serious making Rachel chuckle. "…and a very stupid man." she smiled and kissed him again, this time deeper, until they were interrupted by their daughter, who left Phoebe's arms to go running towards her mother.

"Mommy!" Rachel, against her will, broke the embrace and turned towards her daughter, lifting her up in the air.

"How is my baby girl?"

"Grrrreat!" Emma brought her hand to her mother's hair, noticing it was very different.

"You look pretty mommy" she sincerely said, making her mother smile from ear to ear.

"Thank you sweetheart" she said back hugging her tightly. Ross got closer to them.

"See? And kids never lie" Rachel smiled at him and then kissed her daughter's head "shall we go?"

"Yes...thank you so much again Pheebs. I owe you a dinner." she said kissing her cheek.

"You're welcome, and stop worrying about it, you look amazing!" she giggled.

"Okay! well, see you around then?"

"Yeah, I'll come visit as soon as I can." after saying goodbye with a warm hug they left to their house.

:::::::::::::::

"Would you take that sad expression off your face? I've already told you look gorgeous!" Ross said as he sat next to her on the couch and passed an arm above her shoulders. She looked at him and sent him a small smile.

"It's not the hair….besides, I'm starting to like it."

"What is it then?" he asked confused.

"I was…thinking about Emma's birthday…"

"Are you sad because she is growing up and soon she'll be taller than you?" Ross joked, Rachel slapped his chest playfully and smiled.

"No! her birthday party! I'm worried about her birthday party..."

"Why? everything is being taken care of, isn't it?" he frowned in confusion.

"Yeah…but I'm worry I might not be feeling well that day, I have chemotherapy two days before…".

"Shit! And can't they change the date to three days later?" Rachel shook her head.

"I asked them and they said those things aren't like appointments, it has to be the same day…" Ross sighed

"Well…I can just think of a solution: changing the date of the birthday party?" he suggested.

"Honey, that's impossible…we made the reservations months ago, it's not like booking a table in a restaurant…"

"I know, but we could try."

"But I want it to be on her birthday date…I think we should leave it as it is…besides, this latest one I had didn't affect me that much, maybe I'll be as lucky with the next one…" she said crossing her fingers.

"I'll pray for that" he said kissing her forehead "talking about the birthday girl…where is she?"

"She is in her room…I suppose"

"Go get her, dinner will be ready in a minute."

"Okay"

Rachel stood up and made her way to her daughter's room, but as she was walking across the corridor she noticed that the main bathroom light was on, she walked some steps back and opened the door. Her heart speeded up in a matter of seconds, petrified by the image she had in front of her eyes.

"EMMA! What the hell are you doing with those scissors!?" she cried out horrified; the little girl, who was standing on a chair facing the mirror, turned around and looked at her mother frightened, not knowing what she had done wrong to make her mother that mad. Rachel quickly took the scissors off her hands. "Are you crazy? What were you doing with those scissors?! Don't you know you could have hurt yourself ? she scolded her, Emma's eyes filled with tears as she lowered her head, feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry mommy…" she said softly. Rachel suddenly felt bad for the yelling, but she couldn't help it, the sight of her little daughter holding the scissors had scared her to death.

"Honey, what were you doing with those scissor?" she asked, calmer.

"I just wanted to have my hair like you…" she said timidly "but I won't take them again, I promise mommy " she said with regret showing in her voice. Rachel finally noticed that her daughter's left side of her hair was much shorter than the other side and she was holding a great amount of hair in her hand.

"Oh my god Emma." Rachel exclaimed as she stroked her hair. "What were you thinking?! Your hair is all uneven now!"

"I wanted to look like you…"

"Aww honey, that's sweet, but if you wanted to have your hair cut, you just had to say it."

"Are you mad at me?" she asked with sad eyes. Her sweetness always melted Rachel's heart. She then wrapped her arms around her daughter's small body and lifted her up from the chair.

"I'm not mad at you sweetheart, but you scared me a lot, you could have really hurt yourself with the scissors, and mommy would have been very, very, very sad if something had happened to you." she said sweetly.

"I didn't want to scare you mommy…do you forgive me?"

"Of course I do, but you have to promise you won't grab any scissors, knife or anything dangerous ever again without telling me first."

"I promise" she said with a big smile and then encircling her short arms around her mother's neck she hugged her.

"Your daughter is going to give me a stroke one of these days" she said as she entered the kitchen and sat Emma on her chair.

"Why? What happened this time?" Rachel, standing behind Emma, moved her hands pointing at her hair. Ross'eyes widened.

"Oh my god! Who cut her hair?"

"She did! can you believe it? I enter into the bathroom and find her holding the scissors near her neck! I almost passed out."

"Good god, Emma why in the hell did you do that? It's dangerous!" the girl looked at her lap again.

"I just wanted to look like mommy"

"Isn't that sweet?" Rachel mouthed looking very happy about it.

"That's so sweet of you, peanut, but next time tell us, don't do it by yourself."

"Okay…"

"What do we do with your hair now?" the girl shrugged

"I'll call Phoebe tomorrow; she is the only one able to fix this mess…"

**A month later…. **

She was lying on her bed, resting after a long and painful session of chemotherapy; Ross had taken Emma out to visit her cousins so Rachel would be able to have a proper rest. Some other time she would have complained about being alone, but now she was taking it seriously, she wanted her energy to be at 100% for her daughter's birthday party in two days; she wanted to witness all her reactions that day. Her previous birthday had been smaller, with a couple of friends and their close family, but for her 5th birthday she wanted to make something bigger. She smiled widely already imagining her face when she found out she would be celebrating her birthday in Disneyworld, with all her favorite Disney princesses. She wouldn't miss that for the world, even if she had to deal with an unbearable pain she had.

Then her mind flew to the previous five months, and how much her life had changed ever since the day she had been told she had leukaemia. Now she looked at life with different eyes, being closer than ever to the gates of death had made her realize what life was really about, and now she regretted having wasted so much time worrying about stupid little things. She also thought about her previous relationships, even though some of them had caused her more than a headache, she didn't regret any, since each of them had made her mature and taught her new lessons about relationships.

And then she thought of him, the love of her life; her eyes instantly glowed as they always did when he came to her mind. She wondered why she hadn't fallen in love with him sooner. They had spent ten years working together and even though there had always been a little flirting between the two she never imagined he would become her man one day.

He gave her everything and more than she had ever thought of having: an amazing relationship, a beautiful daughter, a home filled with love….etc. that's why she was so scared when she found out about her sickness: knowing that there was a possibility of losing what had taken her so long to get: her family. But at the same time, this family was what encouraged her to keep going, to keep fighting against that monster that was cancer. Everybody knew about her disease by then and she got lots of support from everybody but she knew that if it wasn't for these two people that brightened up her life, she would had given up long ago.

::::::::::::::::::::::

The big day had come, she was feeling weak but she was happy that no nauseas were bothering her. She quietly entered her daughter's room and opened the drapes, but

the little girl didn't move as she was still sleeping deeply. Rachel sat on the bed and stroked her honey-colored hair, which was shorter "as her mommy's". Her lips curled up into a big smile as she watched her now 5-years-old daughter sleep. She leaned in and kissed her forehead, making the girl start to toss and turn. Feeling her mother's presence Emma opened her eyes.

"Morning sweetheart," the girl smiled and sat up to kiss her mother's cheek.

"Morning mommy."

"Do you know which day is today?" Rachel asked grinning, the girl rolled her eyes thinking.

"My Birthday!"

"Yes! It's your birthday!" she brought her closer and hugged her "happy birthday big girl!" she kissed her cheek over and over again, making her daughter giggle.

"I'm five!" she said excited.

"Yes you are. Five years ago you were ready to go out of here!" she said pointing at her tummy. Emma frowned in confusion.

"How?" Rachel's eyes widened, mentally kicking herself for having said that.

"Eh…we don't have time to explain that…we have to get you ready for your birthday party! Aren't you excited!?" she exclaimed, knowing that would make her daughter forget about the whole thing.

"YES!" Emma exclaimed as she stood up on the bed "Where are we going mommy?"

"Ah…that's a secret for now…"

"Maybe this will give you a hint…" Ross said with a smile as he stood by the door with a wrapped package on his hands. Emma opened her mouth in surprise and ran towards him.

"What is it daddy?" she asked jumping in anticipation.

"You'll see, but first let me give you my birthday kiss!" he said as trapped her with one arm and lifted her up in the air to kiss her. Soon the room filled with laughers; Rachel observed them from the bed, in love with the sight. Then Ross walked towards her and in the bed Emma opened her present.

"It's a Cinderella dress!" she yelled full of happiness, her parents laughed, seeing how happy their girl was.

"Let's put it on you." Rachel suggested "you'll need it where we are going."

"Are we visiting Disneyworld? she exclaimed even more exited. Rachel nodded grinning and instantly the girl threw her arms around both her parents. "I looooove you!" she said sweetly.

They had been there over three hours now and yet Emma was as excited as the first second they had stepped in; she kept running from one place to another, being awestruck by every little new thing she discovered. Ross and Rachel couldn't help but smile from ear to ear the whole time.

"Emma, come here, shall we visit Cinderella's castle now?" Ross said.

"YES!"

"Or do you prefer Snowwhite's?" he teased her.

"No! Cinderella's Cinderella's Cinderella's!" she said jumping and pulling off her parents hands

"Easy, easy! We have the whole day to enjoy the place." Rachel commented.

Once there Emma's eyes shined in amazement, the whole place was dreamy and even Rachel felt like she was a kid again in there. She observed Emma from the distance; she was talking to Cinderella about her dress, which made Rachel laugh.

"Rach, go with Emma, I wanna take a pic of the two of you with Cinderella."

"Okay" she walked towards them and stood next to Cinderella, who was holding her smiley daughter. The flash of the camera blinded her, obliging her to close and open her eyes several times till she recovered her sight.

"Mommy! Let's go to the carrousel!" she said pulling of her hand strongly, so hard that it hurt her but suddenly she felt too tired to scold her.

"Honey, could you ride the carrousel with her?" she asked Ross.

"Why? Are you not feeling well?" he asked worried since he had noticed her a little paler.

"Don't worry I'm okay, it's just that those things always makes me dizzy…and I don't want to throw up" she lied.

"Ow, okay."

"I'll wait you over here," she said pointing at the bench behind her. He winked at her and then followed his daughter. Rachel slowly took seat on the bench, exhausted. She didn't know how but she had run out of energy in a matter of seconds. She breathed deeply as she observed the carrousel start moving. She spotted her daughter on a horse, while Ross was on a pig beside her, she smiled when they started to wave at her happily and she did a heavy effort to wave back. The spins of the carrousel started to make her dizzy, she couldn't even spot her daughter anymore since her sight had become blurry and everything started to move together with the carrousel. She started sweating and a weird sensation climbed up her throat, urging her to bring a hand to her mouth. Luckily Joey, who was near her also watching his niece in the carrousel, noticed her screwed face and quickly approached her.

"Rach, you look pale. Are you okay?" He asked trying to keep calm.

"Please, take me to the bathroom…" she whispered not able to say more.

Once she had thrown up she felt much better, but still, her body felt weak as a leaf and had hold on Joey for support.

"Rach, I think you should go back to the hotel…you seriously need a rest."

"No, I'm okay really; I guess it's something I ate."

"You know it's not…"

"Okay it's not! But I don't want to go home! I don't want to miss my daughter's birthday, have you seen her face? She is beaming with happiness! And that makes me feel better than any rest…so I'm staying even if I end up falling asleep on a bench."

"Okay, whatever you want, but please take it easy, I don't want you to get worse."

"Thanks honey, I'll be fine, and please don't tell Ross I've thrown up…he'll make me go to the hotel whether I like it or not."

"Okay" he said rolling her eyes and helping her walk back to the carrousel.

The day was coming to an end, and Emma didn't receive the news quite happily. She was having a blast in that place, playing with her friends and cousins, visiting the scenarios of her favorite movies and riding the attractions…she even told her parents she wanted to move in there, which make everyone laugh hard.

Rachel sighed relieved as she looked at her watch and learnt that just one more hour was left. She was feeling specially exhausted after doing a superhuman effort to follow her daughter's steps all around and faking to be fine all day long. But she didn't regret it a moment; it had been worth the effort watching her girl have the best day ever.

"Are you okay honey?" Ross asked eyeing her from the corner of his eyes as he drove back to their hotel.

"Yeah…I'm just tired…it's been a long day…"

"I know, I can see someone else is tired too" he said looking through the mirror to find his daughter fast asleep in her chair "I guess we won't have troubles tucking her to bed today." Rachel smiled and leaned her head back on the seat, she closed her eyes and forced some air into her lungs; she was so tired that she couldn't even breathe properly, and her whole body had started to ache really bad.

"Honey, could you put Emma to bed? I'm exhausted." Rachel said as she slowly walked up the stairs.

"Okay, I'll be there in a sec." He opened the door that connected their hotel room to their daughter's and carried her to the bed. He unmade the bed with his free hand and carefully put her in, trying not to wake her up. He covered her with the sheets and kissed her forehead as he whispered "happy birthday princess" one more time. He stayed watching her sleep for some minutes; her calm breathing, the slightly movements of her eyes…he could stay like that forever, but his eyes felt heavy too so he decided to call it a night and go to bed. He walked towards his bedroom already unbuttoning his shirt. But when he opened the door to the bathroom his heart stopped.

"Rach!" he screamed.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

"Jen! Honey wake up! Please wake up!" he begged as he gently but desperately slapped her face to wake her up, but nothing was happening, her face remained pale, expressionless and her head hung back as he held her in his arms. Since the slapping wasn't working he tried to feel her pulse but his trembling hands didn't let him feel anything but his own. He quickly grabbed his cell phone and called 911.

(…)

"What's taking them so long!" he cried out in frustration. His head kept replaying that moment over and over as he sat impatiently in that suffocating waiting room. Ever since he had opened that door everything seemed to run in slow motion and the uncertainty of not knowing what was going on didn't help with his nerves. He wanted to see her, know how she was, but it had been an hour already and the doctor hadn't come out of the room. He was desperate, confused and more than anything he was scared. His legs were shaking uncontrollably while his eyes, fixed on the polished marble floor, remained stuck on that image of her lying on the bathroom floor.

"Honey, calm down, they'll be out any minute…" his mother tried to assure him but was unsuccessful since the more minutes passed the more nervous he got.

"Did you call her parents? I forgot to call them."

"Don't worry, I did, Leonard is on his way here."

"Thanks…" he lowered his gaze again.

"Ross, calm down…everything is gonna be fine…you'll see" his mother whispered as she caringly rubbed his back.

"I just don't understand why this happened! She had never fainted before…I'm scared" his voice broke as he closed his eyes to keep the forming tears inside. His mother pulled him into a hug; she knew that that gesture would help him more than any word.

The moment the door opened and the doctor came out Ross stood up quickly and walked towards him.

"How-how is she? Can I see her?" he asked so nervously that even his voice was trembling.

"Calm down sir. She is stable." Ross sighed a little relieved but he noticed the serious look on the doctor's eyes.

"Tell me why this occurred, she hadn't fainted before, is it serious?"

"We are not sure yet, but it might have been caused by an extreme effort...her blood pressure was very low and she nearly slipped into a comma…did she do a lot of physical activity after the chemotherapy?"

"No, that I know…she stayed home except for today, we were at Disneyworld celebrating our daughter's birthday, but she looked fine the whole day, she was smiling and didn't complain about any pain….I don't understand…" he said with trembling voice.

"Well, we'll find out once she wakes up."

"Can I go see her?"

"Sure, but she is sedated, she needs to rest as much as possible, her body his very weak and that has affected her immune system."

"Thank you, doctor."

"It's okay. I'll be around if you have any questions." the doctor left and together with his mother he entered the room. He bit his lip as he got closer to the bed, he immediately leant forward to kiss her forehead, "hi sweetheart" he whispered as he stroked her blonde hair.

"Honey, why don't you go home and get some sleep, the doctor said she wouldn't wake up till tomorrow, I'll stay here until Leonard arrives, okay?"

"Thank you mom, but no, as long as my body can take it I'm gonna stay here beside her."

"Well…okay, I'm gonna go then, I'll come visit tomorrow morning with Emma, and please, have a rest! It's been a long day…" she said as she kissed her son's cheek.

"Okay mom, give Emma a good night kiss from me."

"Will do, take care."

He fell asleep on the chair beside her, his fingers still entwined with hers. But the sleep didn't last long since he kept waking up, scared by that horrible moment he couldn't get out of his mind. He looked at her for the hundredth time that night, checking she was alright and then he closed his eyes again to try to get some sleep. when he open them up again it was already midday, his hair was all messy and his clothes wrinkled from sleeping in that chair but that went unnoticed by him since his eyes immediately set on her.

"Good morning sweetheart" he murmured as he kiss her forehead, her eyes were still closed and she seemed to be in a deep sleep. He sat on her bed, facing her, and as he took her hand in his he gazed at her, observing every little detail of her beautiful face for the longest time. He was yearning to see her open her eyes again.

"Hey, you woke up!" Leonard said as he entered the room.

"Oh, hey, hi." he exclaimed surprised to see him "I didn't know you were here…" he said as he awkwardly shook his hand.

"Yeah, I've been here for some hours now, I was just having lunch at the cafeteria…"

"Oh, do you know if the doctor came?"

"Yes, he was here, he said that everything was fine but she is still heavily sedated so she wouldn't wake up yet…" he said as he got closer to his daughter's bed and stroked her hair.

"Oh…" a wave of sadness ran through his body, he wished for her to wake up so they could go home. Leonard noticed his sad look.

"I think you should go back to the hotel and have a shower…"

"I know…but I don't want to leave her…I wanna be here when she wakes up." he said sincerely. Leonard placed his hand on his shoulder, feeling compassion for him. Ross looked at his hand surprised, since Leonard had never been specially friendly toward him in past years.

"but I told you already she won't wake up yet. Just go home, eat something, have a shower and rest a little…I'll call you with any news I have okay?" Ross sighed and finally accepted knowing he wouldn't stop insisting until he gave in him.

"Okay, but if she wakes up call me right away." he begged.

"Of course. Just calm down, you seem too overwhelmed."

"I can't help it. She looked fine and all of a sudden she faints, I can't stay calm when I don't know the reason why this happened."

"I know what you mean, but she is alright, the doctor said she just needs to rest to regain her strength, so go, I'm sure Emma is eager to see her dad." he was very concerned himself but he tried to sound cool so he wouldn't get any worrier.

"Okay…" he murmured as he reached her bed and leaned to kiss her forehead. He stroked her face looking at her with all his love. "I love you" he whispered as he kissed her cheek sweetly.

"You really love her, don't you?" Leonard said after silently watching him caress his daughter's hand.

"I'm aware you've never trusted me, but I do, I really do, she has my heart in her hands…that's why I'm so worried, if you something happened to her I-I wouldn't…"

"Shhh! Don't you dare to finish that sentence, Geller! nothing will happen to her, I know her, and I know she is a fighter, she won't give up that easily."

"I know she is, I just can't help but worry, I've been in love with her for so long…and now that I have her and we're happy, the thought of losing her…" he couldn't finish the sentence as his throat tensed by the threatening tears "I'll be back in some hours…" he managed to say as he left the door containing himself.

:::::::::::::::::

"Daddyyyyyyy" his beloved girl ran towards his arms, thrilled to see him. After having had the so needed shower and having filled his stomach with some food he went to his parent's room where Emma was.

"Hi princess! Are you still wearing Cinderella's dress?" he asked, trying to leave his worries behind for her daughter's sake. The girl nodded happy.

"Are we going home now?"

"No yet honey…you'll have to stay with gradma and gradpa tonight too."

"Why?" she asked a little sad as she played with his father's shirt buttons.

"Because… I have to stay with mommy at the hospital, she is a little sick, but we'll come take you tomorrow morning and we all will fly back home together, okay?" she shrugged his shoulders

"I wanna see mommy, can I go with you?"

"Oh sweetheart, I would love to bring you, I'm sure mommy would be very happy to have you there, but she has to rest and sleep a lot so she can go home as soon as possible." his daughter's sad eyes broke his heart into pieces but he knew it was better that way.

"Hey Emma, How about grampa, you and I go back to Disneyworld today too? Would you like that?" Judy said, trying to cheer the girl up. She looked at her father, excited by the idea.

"Yes! Daddy, come with us! Pleaseee" he looked at his watch, he had been away for three long hours and he was eager to go back to be her side but he could never say no to his daughter's pleading eyes.

"Okay, but just until lunch time, alright?"

:::::::::::::::

Ross crossed the hospital entrance right after 1pm, feeling more uplifted; his shirt had little chocolate strains that had dripped from his daughter's ice-cream while he was carrying her around the park. He reached the third floor and walked towards her room. He suddenly stopped in his tracks and his heart skipped a beat when he saw Leonard out of the room, sitting on a chair and with his head hid between his hands. He ran towards him.

"What happened, what are you doing out here?" he burst out with trembling voice. Leonard stood up and met his eyes. Ross felt his soul drop to the floor when he noticed his teary eyes. "For god's sake say something! Tell me she is alright!" he said desperately getting teary eyes too.

"She just had a crisis…the doctor has been there for half an hour…I don't know what's going on, they threw me out of the room" he said worried.

"But she has to be alright! This has to be a mistake!" he was trying to find a reason for this nightmare, everything was fine when he left, things couldn't have turned upside down in a matter of some hours, he tried to convince himself. Just then he noticed Joey was also there, his eyes reflected his same concerned.

"Ross, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"I'm sorry Joey, I don't feel like talking right now, I've got to figure out what's going on."

"I just want to tell you something, I'm sorry I hid it from you but I was just doing what she asked me…" he said with a feeling of guiltiness. Ross frowned in confusion.

"What is it?"

"….she wasn't completely right yesterday….she….threw up several times…"

"What?!"

"I'm sorry I know I should've told you but she told me not to and…." Ross' eyes were wide open, shocked but the sudden news, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, how could that be true? he had been there with her the whole time and he didn't notice anything.

"Are you serious?" he asked still shocked.

"Yes…she pretended to be fine so you wouldn't send her to the hotel, she just wanted to be there…"

"Are you insane?!" he exclaimed full of anger, finally aware of his words "you should have told me no matter what she said! Look where she is now for this stupid thing!"

"I'm really sorry Ross! I know I did wrong, but she wanted to be there, she begged me, what else could I have done?" he tried to apologize but he no longer was listening to him, instead he was pacing up and down anxiously, blaming himself for not having noticed the signs. If he had she wouldn't be where she was right now. Joey tried to apologize but he knew he was out of his mind and he wouldn't listen to anything he had to say.

Some minutes later the doctor came out.

"How is she?!" Leonard and Ross asked at the same time.

"She is stable again, but she had a really bad crisis, and it has left her body weaker than it already was, which has affected some of her organs since her body can't fight the chemicals and this is making more damage than curing the cancer."

"But she's gonna be alright, right?" Ross asked hopeful, all those words were terrifying him.

"We hope so, we'll have to see how she progresses…but there's a big chance we'll have to change the treatment to a harder one."

"Does that mean the cancer has reached another phase?" Leonard asked.

"Yes."

"Can we see her?" he asked after a painful silence.

"Sure, but one at a time, she will stay under full care tonight so I recommend you to go home and come back in the morning. The doctor walked away leaving them standing there in complete shock, trying to assimilate all the information."

"Do you want to come first?"

"No, you go, I need some time…" Ross said quietly. He then sat on the chair as he observed Leonard enter the room. His mind drifted back to the previous day, still not able to believe what Joey had told him moments ago; it all seemed so unreal, he had seen her with his own eyes, and she had been alright all day. He clenched his fists, angry at himself.

Half an hour later his turn came. He walked into the room with fear but he found her just like that morning, sleeping like an angel, it was hard to believe there was a deathly battle occurring inside of her.

He grabbed her hand and kissed it as finally two tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Wake up baby, I wanna see your beautiful eyes…" he murmured as he sat on the bed, closer to her "please wake up, I miss you" his voice broke; he closed his eyes tightly wishing that when he opened them up again she would be looking right into his eyes ready to tell him that everything had been a joke; but nothing was further from the truth, and nothing changed when he opened them again."please sweetheart…I miss you so so much, I need to see your smile, your gorgeous eyes…I, I need to hear your sweet voice…" more tears followed the others as he softly rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand "you can't do this to me, you can't leave me…what would I do without you beside me everyday huh? No, that will never happen 'cause you're gonna get better right? Yes you are, you have to fight sweetheart, Emma and I need you…" he said with all his heart as more tears rolled down his face till falling over the sheet. He tried to stop his sobs as he swept his tears away and continued talking. "You know…I've been doing some thinking…" he gulped as he grabbed her hand and started stroking it "I know we've talked about this and we agreed we liked the way things are…but I don't anymore, I want more…I want you to be my wife and I want to be your husband for the rest of my life…" he confessed as he kept rubbing her hand and gazing at her beautiful face. "I know that I have had my share of failed marriages and you don't think it's necessary, but… with you it'll be different, and I know it's gonna work because, we were made for each other! Even thought we didn't realize soon enough…but we are!" he had never spoken so sincerely in his life. "But first you need to get better and open those beautiful eyes of yours so I can ask you to marry me." he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it in the sweetest way; his crying had stopped as he thought how much he would like to do everything he had said. "and when you get better and we've gotten rid of this annoying bug you have inside, we'll get marry…Emma will be the most beautiful flower girl ever! And you…you will look like a goddess…" he smiled, picturing how beautiful she would look in a white wedding dress walking down the aisle for him, something he had never pictured with any woman before. "you have me so madly in love with you…" he whispered into her ear as he kissed her cheek.

"Sir, I'm afraid you have to leave now." a nurse had just entered. He got disappointed; he didn't want to leave her all alone.

"Can I stay please? I don't want to leave her alone…" he begged.

"I'm sorry sir, but that goes against the hospital's rules. you can wait outside, I promise we'll take good care of her"

"Alright." he murmured, he leaned forwards and sweetly kissed her lips. He whispered an "I love you" and against his will he left the room.

::::::::::::::::::

"Sir, sir, she has woken up" the same nurse poked on his shoulder to wake him up.

"What?" he asked still sleepy. He had fallen asleep on the uncomfortable chair outside her room for the third day in a row. But he didn't care since he knew he wouldn't have been able to fall asleep in his own bed, so far away from her.

"She has opened her eyes." the nurse repeated with a smile.

"She has?!" he asked startled as he stood up.

"Yeah, would you like to see her?"

"Of course!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with excitement. He entered the room and immediately received a small smile from her, a simple gesture that melted his heart. He reached his bed and kissed her forehead sweetly.

"Hi love…" he whispered, glad to see her blue eyes again after so many days; he then kissed her lips as he pushed some blocks of hair away from her face.

"Hi…" she said hoarsely. She tried to sit up but Ross immediately stopped her.

"Shh! Don't move honey, you are still weak…"

"But I'm tired of lying here…" she whined.

"I know, but you have to obey the doctor if you want to get out of here soon" she sighed, she wanted to get out of that place as soon as possible, but she had to admit to herself she hadn't felt weaker than she was feeling right now, and that scared her.

"Why did you do that…" he asked as he stroke her cheek. Rachel lowered her gaze, knowing perfectly what he was talking about. "you can't joke with this, Rach…"

"I know…I'm sorry."

"I was so scared…" he confessed "and by the way…you're a terrific actress, you managed to fool me the whole day" he joked making her laugh softly.

"I just didn't want to miss Emma's birthday, I'm tired of missing things because of this shit." she said, getting teary eyes.

"Sshh don't cry honey. I understand…but don't do it again; it'll only get worse if we don't follow the doctor's instructions…"

"He has told me about the treatment."

"Ow…well but they weren't sure yet, were they? And this is not your doctor, we'll have to see what he says, you may not need it."

"…They said I do." he fell into silence.

"Well…If they so then …I'm sure it will work…don't worry about that know…" he sweetly said as he stroked her hair.

"I'm not gonna do it" she said serious.

"What?"

"I don't want to get a harder treatment." She shook her head.

"But honey, I don't think that's up to you…"

"Yes it is, it's my body…I can decide what I want or not."

"Okay, you're starting to talk nonsense…" his voice sounded confused.

"Ross, I'm not gonna take that new treatment, nor the old one" she said serious, looking deep into his eyes. He chuckle in a mixture of fear and incredulity.

"You're going crazy" he let out a confused chuckle "then how are you supposed to fight the cancer without those treatments."

"I'm not gonna fight it, I'm tired" his eyes widened with more confusion.

"Are you listening to yourself? What do you mean? That you give up?"

"Yes." her firm tone made him tremble from head to toes.

"You've got to be kidding! Rach, if you give up and don't take any treatment you're gonna…"

"I know." she interrupted him."but if I have some months to live I want to live them, not to spend them prostrate in a bed twisting of pain, I'm tired of all that, there's not one day that my body doesn't hurt as hell" her eyes filled with tears, she knew the decision she had made was difficult but she was exhausted, nothing seemed to get better and after the day before, she had completely lost her faith in recovery. She saw the look of horror in his eyes.

"You cannot be serious" he said getting teary eyes as well "do you want to leave us?" his voice broke with the last words.

"Of course I don't" she said in the same tone. She grabbed his hand with her trembling ones "but, I can't go on like this, I just can't" tears started falling down her cheeks. Ross shook his head from side to side, disbelieving what he was hearing.

"I refuse to believe you, Rach, you've gone crazy! What about your daughter? Do you want her to grow up without a mother? And what about me? Don't you love me anymore?" he said frustrated, his gaze was blurred by the tears. She started sobbing loudly.

"I DO love you, I've never loved anybody as much as I love you, and you know it! But I just can't go on like this, you don't know how much pain I'm constantly in. And I'm tired of faking I'm alright when my body is ripping off inside" their crying mixed, Ross grabbed her hand and brought it to his mouth and kissed it "I give up." she whispered between sobs.

"No, please, don't say that, you're a strong woman, you're gonna get through this, I know it, and we're gonna have the most wonderful future together, with our beautiful girl, please don't give up" he begged crying as he never had before. She bit her lip; it killed her seeing him like that.

"I made the decision" she murmured and looked into his eyes, rivers of tears falling off her eyes.

"You won't change your mind?" he asked as he dried his tears, dreading her answer. She slowly shook her head no.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered; he lowered his face, still holding her hand. He couldn't believe her words. Everything was a mess, and just when he thought it all was good again she bombed him with that. Making it all worse.

"Then I don't think I'm gonna be able to support you on this…I don't want to see you dying. I can't, I'm sorry…" he whispered, still sobbing, as he stood up and walked towards the door without looking back at her; he heard her call his name but he had to get out of there. His worst nightmare had come true: she had given up.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

She left the hospital and flew back home two days later; two long days that had been pure hell for her. Ever since she had told him about her decision he hadn't appeared around there nor had he called to check on her, fact that had her completely worried and devastated.

Her father and everyone else who came to visit her asked surprised what had happened but she didn't answer, she couldn't, she was as shocked as everybody else.

With her father's help she slowly walked into her house; she was still very weak and walking had become a very exhausting activity, but she didn't care about that as she only

could think of him. Her heart filled with hope of finding him behind their house door, but he wasn't there and she felt like dying right there and then.

"Do you want me to cook you something for dinner sweetheart?" Leonard asked as he helped his daughter sit on the couch. She chuckled softly.

"Can you even cook, dad?"

"Of course I can, I make the best scrambled eggs in town."

"Thank you dad, but I'm not hungry…"

"You may not be hungry but your body needs energy so tell me, what do you want?"

"It's okay dad, I'll eat something later, I promise, I'm just not hungry right now…"

"You sure?" Rachel nodded, forcing a small smile "well okay, I'm gonna go…are you gonna be okay?"

"Yes, don't worry dad, I'm gonna go straight to bed…I'm tired."

"Okay, call me if you need anything…oh and Jody was on her way here to bring Emma, she should be here any minute."

"Thanks dad, for everything." she said sincerely. They hugged and a few minutes later she was alone in her house. She looked around and tears appeared on her eyes right away, she couldn't understand why he was not there with her, she knew he wouldn't take the news quite well but she didn't think in a million years that he would go away leaving her all alone.

She immediately dried her face when the door bell rang. She opened the door and found Judy standing there with a sleeping Emma on her arms. The moment her eyes met Judy's she could read how sorry and sad she was for her.

"I'm gonna put her to bed" Rachel whispered as she carefully held the little girl from her arms. Emma opened her eyes a little, disoriented by the movements.

"I've missed you mommy." she said softly as she rested her head on her mother's shoulder and closed her eyes again. That simple sentence of her daughter warmed her heart again.

"I've missed you too, princess" she whispered back while carrying her to her room.

When she returned to the living room Judy was sitting on the couch, waiting for her.

"She was tired, wasn't she?" Rachel said as she sat down next to her trying to avoid what she so desperately wanted to ask.

"Yeah, she hasn't stopped playing with her cousins…she is a very happy child." Rachel nodded, while already getting tears in her eyes; for days now it had become impossible for her to keep them inside.

"You gotta tell me where he is" she said in a begging tone taking Judy's hands in hers. Judy looked at her full of sorrow.

"I wish I could honey, but I don't know where he is, he didn't tell me…" Rachel closed her eyes tightly as many tears soaked her cheeks.

"I-I miss him so much Judy" Rachel confessed as she started sobbing. Judy's heart sunk in sadness and instantly embraced her protectively, Rachel burst into loud tears.

"Honey, you've got to tell me what happened, he was completely broken when he came the other day…" Rachel wanted to tell her, but she hadn't told anybody about her decision yet and that was not the right moment.

"Please, just promise me you're gonna tell him to call me when you see him" she managed to say when her tears finally stopped.

"I will, and don't cry anymore sweetie, everything will get better you just have to believe in it okay?" she sweetly kissed her forehead and Rachel thanked the gesture by hugging her again.

After Judy had left, Rachel went straight to her bed, but in spite of being extremely tired she couldn't catch up on sleep and she cried silently. She missed him beside her;

she missed him so much that it was becoming unbearable. Why was he doing that to her? Did he want to make her suffer to get back at her for her decision? That and many other questions kept her mind wandering.

"Mommy?" her daughter's sweet voice sounded in the quietness of the night. She quickly dried her face with the back of her hands and then switched the bedside lamp on.

"You can't sleep, honey?" The girl shook her head "come here..." Emma climbed up the bed and laid beside her mother, resting her head on her chest and being wrapped by her mother's arms as she kissed her hair.

"Why isn't daddy here, mommy?" she asked innocently but to Rachel that question felt like knife cutting her skin in two.

"he is…away. But he'll come soon…" she answered trying to sound sure about it.

"I don't like this mommy, I missed you and daddy…" the sadness of her daughter's voice pinched her in her stomach, bringing a few tears to her eyes that she prevented from falling.

"We have missed you too honey, but everything it's okay now, daddy will be home soon I promise" she said seeming cool wishing at the same time this were true.

"Mommy why were you at the hospital?" she asked a while later. Rachel sighed softly and sat up, resting her back on the head of the bed. "come here I want to tell you something…"she whispered to her daughter. She sat her between her legs, her back resting on her body as she wrapped her arms around her little body and pressed her cheek against her daughter's hair while she tried to look for the right words.

"Mommy has a little bug inside that is making her sick….that's why I've been visiting the doctor so often…"

"Can't the doctors kill that bug?" Rachel chuckled a little at her daughter's innocence.

"That's what we've been trying, but the mischievous bug doesn't want to get out. "Emma frowned in confusion.

"You know mommy loves you, right honey?"

"Mh-uh."

"Well, I want you to know that that will never, ever, change, even when I'm not here with you…" her voice cracked.

"Are you leaving again mommy?" Emma asked with sad voice. Rachel gulped the lump in her throat.

"No honey, I'm not leaving you again, and I'll always be with you even when you can't see me."

"but I don't want you to go…" she said sad.

"Me neither, I will never want to leave you honey, but it's not my decision…" she trailed off, explaining her situation to her daughter was the hardest thing she had ever done.

"It's because of the bug?"

"Yes…"

"Don't worry mommy, tomorrow I'll make you my special potion! And you'll be alright right away! And you won't have to go anywhere." Rachel chuckled at her daughter's lovely idea. If only it were true and that could cure her...

"I will?"

"Yeah! Because it's magical!"

"Then I can't wait to taste that potion of yours." she said sweetly as she kissed her cheek and tickled her, filling the room with beautiful giggles.

Rachel fell asleep with her little girl between her arms after hours of waiting for him to cross the front door and join them in bed, but that didn't happen.

:::::::::::::

The following day she woke up more downhearted than the previous one, his good morning kisses weren't there to wake her up and that made her realize she was missing him more that she had thought. In spite of this, she faked to be alright so her daughter wouldn't notice her sadness.

Monica visited her after lunch; bringing Erika with her so Emma would be distracted while they had a little chat. Monica stroked Rachel's back perceiving her desperation.

"How are you honey?" Monica asked, Rachel didn't hide her feelings anymore and tears quickly appeared on her eyes.

"Bad… I miss him so damn much!" her voice showed anguish.

"I don't get it, why is he not here already? What happened to make him go away like that?" Monica asked; she was as confused as everybody else.

"I…I don't want talk about it…I just need to see him, know he is alright! Did he call you?" Monica shook her head.

"You're freaking me out with all this secrecy, but try to calm down, I'm sure he will come soon, stop torturing yourself, okay?" Rachel nodded wishing it was as easy as saying it.

When the evening she had no more tears to shed. She had hoped he would come today, but the minutes passed, so did the hours and there was no sight of him.

"Mommy, Am I doing it well?" Emma asked as she carefully colored the drawing on her book.

"Let me see." Rachel slid down from the couch where she was watching Tv and knelt beside her daughter in the coffee table. "wow! You did wonderful honey! You didn't get out of the lines at all" she said sweetly while stroking her little back with affection. Emma looked up at her with the biggest smile.

"Thank you!" she said happily. Right then, the sound of a door closing caught Rachel's attention, her heart skipped a beat the moment she saw him standing by the living room door. Their eyes met for a second before their daughter jumped from where she was to go running to greet her father.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed excited as her little arms found their way around his hips. Ross ducked so he could hug her properly.

"Hi Princess!" he said softly, hugging her tightly against his body. His voice was proof of the sorrow he was bearing. Rachel stayed in her spot, gazing at them without daring to blink, afraid he would disappear if she did.

"Where have you been daddy? Mommy and I missed you a lot."

"You did?" he said as he now looked towards Rachel, who felt a shiver cross her entire body.

"Here daddy, help me color my book!" she said as she pulled of his hand.

"Actually, Emma, it's past your bedtime already, daddy can help you tomorrow okay?" she finally spoke. Their eyes met again.

"But mommy, I haven't played with daddy in a loooong time!" she said pouting. Rachel was about to speak again but Ross did first.

"Princess, your mom is right, you have to go to bed now, we'll play tomorrow aaaall day okay?"

"You promise?" she said a little sad.

"I promise, now let's go to bed little bug" he said in a funny voice as he caught her in his arms, Rachel's lips curled into a small smile at the sight, it had only been four days

without those little moments but long enough to realize she couldn't leave without them. Ross looked at her and mouthed he would be back soon before he disappeared of the room.

Rachel waited impatiently in the living room, wondering what he would say but most of all she was eager to kiss those lips she had missed so much. He walked slowly back into the living room, she turned around and found him some meters away, his face was the pure image of misery.

"I'm so sorry…" he whispered after some minutes of just staring into each other's eyes. She could read his regret in his eyes, they never lie to her. Rachel pressed her lips tightly as she tried to keep the forming tears inside. Not able to resist it anymore she walked towards him and melted with him into a much needed hug. He encircled her small frame with his arms while his chin rested on her head. "I'm so so sorry" he whispered again, this time his voice trembled as tears threatened to fall; he had missed her so much. He had had a taste of what life might be without her and he hated it; this thought made him embrace her more tightly, somehow expecting that way she wouldn't go away from him. "Why did you do this?" she asked between sobs, burying her face in his chest and getting his sweater wet with her tears.

"I needed to think…but I swear I'll never leave you again" he said as he cupped her face with his hands and drew her closer, to finally taste her sweet lips; their tears mixed as their cheeks brushed with that needy kiss. They stopped when their bodies started begging for some air. He placed a lock of hair behind her ear and smiled for the first time in days.

"How have you been…?" he asked with her still between his arms.

"Awfully bad, I felt I was in an endless nightmare without you here…I never thought I could miss somebody so much." she confessed. he could see her words came right out of her heart which made him feel awful for having abandoned her in such a rough moment, but he needed it; just then he remembered her decision and went pale. He grabbed her hand and guided her to the sofa; he sat in front of her on the coffee table.

"Please, please…tell me you've changed your mind" he begged with his eyes shut tight, afraid to look at her eyes and read her answer right there. She was having trouble finding words to say what she wanted, fact that let him know she hadn't; he opened his eyes again and took her hands on his "please…"

"Ross, I…"

"No! let me talk, I need to get this out first" he interrupted her. He held her hands more tightly as he looked deep into her reddened eyes "please…Rach, you have to reconsider this okay? you can't give up, I know you don't see the end right now because of the damn pain, but I promise you it's there, you're gonna get better." she was about to speak again but Ross quickly placed a finger on her lips to avoid it "you need to fight honey, if it's not for you or for me do it for Emma, she needs a mother and she loves you so much, you can't let her down…she is too young to know what's going on and I don't want her to be asking where you are every day of her life, I know I won't be able to take it, and I don't want to tell her that her mother gave up, do you want that?" his voiced cracked as tears started falling off his eyes, Rachel started sobbing intensely, she detested all that situation. "these days I've been gone I've seen how life would be without you…and it was horrible! I felt so lonely…You don't know how many things have crossed my mind…" his words made her cry rivers of tears, tears that didn't let her pronounce a simple word. She wanted to fight, but her lack of strength made it look impossible. "And I know the treatment may not work either, but...if what we dread happens...at least it won't be because you gave up too soon."

"I don't know Ross…" she managed to say, her eyes tightly closed. He stood up desperate "where are you going?" she asked scared he would leave again. She watched him walk towards his office and returned with some papers in his hands.

He sat in front of her again; his eyes were swelled from all the crying. He then placed the papers in her hands.

"What's this?" she asked confused as she gazed at him.

"This was going to be a surprise for you when you got better…" he said looking down "I've been dealing with the papers all these past months…" Rachel frowned in confusion and started reading the papers but it wasn't long before she realized what it actually was. She brought her hand to her mouth.

"Is this for real?" she asked still shocked. He nodded, his head lowered.

"I know you wanted to be a mother again…that's why I started with the adoption papers…I wanted to surprise you…" Rachel bit her bottom lip, getting more tears in her eyes. She cupped his face and kissed him softly, a simple kiss that was full of love. "and that's not all," he continued as he stroked her cheek. "I want you to be my wife, I want to marry you and be your husband for life, if you let me…" Rachel brought her hand to her mouth again, astonished with the many news. She was surprised he had actually mentioned the word "marry" knowing it was something he had not imagined doing again.

"I, I can't believe this…" she murmured with wide eyes, looking again at the adoption papers. Saying she was shocked was an understatement, just an hour ago she had thought she had lost him a now there he was, telling her he wanted to marry her and add a new baby to their family.

"Look at me" he demanded, he grabbed her hand again and looking deep into her eyes he continued "I imagined a future with you, but I don't want it if you're not in it, it's too hard…I need you with me and Emma, and our soon to be new baby." he said with all his heart, his words were so moving that she couldn't stop crying. Seeing this he enveloped her in a sweet embrace "you don't have to say anything right now, but please, promise me you will think about it." he begged her, she nodded in agreement looking at him with all her love.

"I love you so, so much" she whispered.

"I love you more" he whispered as he pushed her hair off her face and brought her closer, placing the sweetest kiss on her soft lips. That simple contact made both their bodies tremble; they had missed each other so much. He deepened the kiss; he was so hungered of her that was difficult to contain the desire. He felt her trap his bottom lip between hers, sucking on it gently as he loved it, making him let a soft moan. When they broke the kiss she looked at him and grinned.

"Shall we go to the bedroom?" she said biting her bottom lip tenderly.

"Are you saying that…?" she nodded before he could finish the sentence. "but you're in pain honey…" he said, knowing she had taken the chemotherapy just mere days ago.

"Yes, but nothing hurts more than having you away…" she said sincerely; moved by her beautiful words he grabbed her face again and gave her a passionate kiss that left her completely breathless. "make love to me." she whispered into his ear, he grinned at her and kissing her again he held her in his arms and carried her to their bedroom.

Once in their bedroom he carefully placed her on her feet; just millimetres from each other they looked into their eyes saying without words how much love they shared.

"You look so beautiful…" he whispered as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, meaning the words with all his heart. The sweet smile that appeared on her face swept him off his feet with love; he would give everything he had just to see that beautiful smile on her face everyday.

"And you're wonderful."she said, her eyes glowing, before kissing his lips gently but enough to make him tremble; her hands travelled to the hem of his T-shirt, already yearning to get rid of it, but just the simple movement of rising her arms in the air made her muscles ache, causing her to wince in pain. Concerned, he soon grabbed her arms.

"Sweetie don't make efforts" he said worried "let me spoil you for once okay?" Rachel bit her lip, moved by his deep concern. Impulsively she pressed her body with his and kissed his lips again, harder this time. His hands placed on both sides of her waist and started stroking the small piece of bare skin between the jeans and her T-shirt. That mere touch of him made her realize how much she missed those moments they had been prevented from because of her chronic pains.

His hands carefully lift her T-shirt, he helped her get her arms out of the piece of clothing that soon landed on the floor. He then encircled her body with his fit arms while his mouth sank into the crock of her neck, where he placed little kisses that he knew she enjoyed. Rachel closed her eyes tightly, enjoying his experienced lips on her sensitive skin, but she couldn't get into it completely since the material of his T-shirt was starting to annoy her.

"Take it off, I wanna feel your skin" she whispered, he stopped and smiled; without hesitating a second he took it off and sent it to the floor as well. She then wrapped her arms around his waist and got rid of every little space that kept them apart. His warm skin on hers felt as glory. They stayed just like that, hugging each other and feeling each other's skin for several seconds until she lifted her head to look up him and gazing straight into his brown eyes she whispered a heartfelt "I love you". Three words that he had heard many times before but never had sounded as right and meaningful as when her mouth said them.

He smiled and kissed her forehead gently, his happiness glowing through his eyes. But it wasn't long before those same eyes filled with tears as he couldn't help but think of the possibility of not having her just like that, wrapped between his arms, someday. His heart broke into pieces with the mere thought of not hearing her say those same words again, of not being able to make love to her and then watch her fall asleep on his chest.

Rachel noticed his tears and immediately knew what was going through his head. She bit her lip fighting to keep her tears inside and then cupped his face to make him look at her.

"Please honey, don't think about that now…" her voice sounded as if she was on the verge of tears; he wanted to stop it but it was beyond him. She dragged his face to her, leaning his forehead against hers. "Please…I don't want neither of us to be sad right now" she begged with her eyes tightly closed, just like him, who was trying really hard to stop the tears. "Let's pretend there is no past, no future…just you and me in this room…okay?" she murmured. He lifted his face and dried his face.

"Okay…" he whispered hoarsely "I just…"

"Shhh" she said shaking her head and placing a finger on his lips. "no words, just love me,"she asked grabbing his hands and placing them around her body again. He sobbed one last time and nodded trying to leave his worries behind. Rachel pressed her lips against his, encouraging him to go on; as a reaction to this his hands started to climb up her spine caressing every little skin they could reach while their mouth melt into a more passionate kiss. Soon he forgot the break down he had had just moments ago and submerged into the intimate moment they were sharing.

His mouth left hers and travelled down to her neck, placing sweet kisses while his hands undid the clasp of her bra and slowly slid it off her arms. Rachel moaned softly, his wet kisses going further down her body were driving her crazy with desire.

He kissed her shoulder, then her collarbone, then her breasts, her stomach and so on till he reached her belly button, putting in every kiss all the admiration and love he had for that woman standing before him.

He looked up at her, finding her face flushed in desire, he smiled and so did she. Then his fingers undid the button of her jeans and got rid of them not breaking eye contact with her, his intense stare was arousing her so much.

His hands moved to her butt cheeks, giving them a gentle squeeze while he dragged her closer and gave an open mouth kiss to the skin right under her belly button, something that sent instant shivers of pleasure up and down her body. The soft moans that escaped her mouth turned him on badly; he was slowly but surely losing control.

He quickly stood up and carefully held her up from the floor to lay her on their bed, not wanting her to feel the smallest pain.

Not a single part of her body escaped from his sweet, gentle kisses, Rachel moaned from pure pleasure, never had kisses felt so good on her than when they came from him, the love of her life.

He then sat next to her and observed for a moment her delicate, almost completely naked body before going further; to him, she was the most beautiful woman on the planet, inside and out. He placed his hand on her belly and stroked it in little circles while looking at her drunk of love.

"Are you sure you want to?" he asked once again, afraid of her answer but caring about her health above all.

"Completely." she brought a hand to his cheek and caressed it gently Don't hesitate anymore sweetie, I'll be fine" she assured him. He smiled from ear to ear, seeing in her eyes she wanted it as much as him in spite of her sore body.

"Okay, but just stop me if I hurt you." Rachel nodded and bringing him down their mouths met again in a deep, passionate kiss. He quickly got rid of his trousers, his boxers followed closely and so did her underwear. He lay beside her, one of his hands caressing her hair while the other slid up and down the smooth skin of her stomach. He didn't want to rush that beautiful moment they were living, even after having experienced it many, many times it still felt as exciting and new as the first time.

He kissed the tip of her nose, her cheeks, her chin and then her mouth while he slowly separated her legs with his hand and positioned himself between them while their tongues danced together in their mouths.

Finally their sweaty bodies joined in one, driven by the love and desire they had for one another. He made love to her, slowly, pleasantly, while whispering sweet nothings in her ear. She let herself be loved, giving herself away completely to him, something she had never done with anybody before. Their bodies moved together in synch, their hearts beating fast in their chests while their breath mixed inside their inseparable mouths. Everything faded around them while they savored every second of that moment, the worries and everything else could wait.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

She took a quick look and then closed the book with a smile on her face. Then, getting up from the bed she walked to the balcony; she breathed the fresh air of that place, that place she had fallen in love with the very first day she was there and that now could proudly call home. She rested her elbows on the railing and looked down. The biggest smiled shown on her face as she observed the three people she loved the most in the entire world having fun in the swimming pool.

"Look how I dive dad" Emma exclaimed before jumping into the water curled up into a bomb-form. Ross chuckled, a gesture that was instantly imitated by the baby in his arms. Rosslooked at him amused "did Ema make you laugh too, little guy?" he said as he kissed his thin brown hair sweetly making the baby giggle again. Emma emerged from the water and swan as good as she could towards the swimming pool steps where her father was sitting; she clung from her father's neck and sat on his lap as she observed her baby brother, who was happily splashing the water with his chubby little hands.

"Can I hold him daddy?"

"I don't know honey…he's till very little..."

"But I'm a big girl now! I'm seven!" Ross chuckled at her serious expression.

"Okay...but be careful." Emma nodded and smiled.

"Come here brother!". She said excited as she opened her arms for her little brother, who immediately wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her. Ross, holding both of them tightly on his lap, smiled with delight. He was amazed by how great she had accepted her baby brother; she had never felt a little bit of jealousy of him, instead she was always playing with him, observing how he slept or even helping her mom feed him. The little guy had come into the family nearly a year ago, when he was only three weeks old, bringing with him pure happiness.

"Nico stop doing that!" Emma whined with her eyes tightly closed so the water he was splashing wouldn't get in them. The little boy giggled once again and then kissed his sister's cheek in the tenderest way. Rachel laughed at the beautiful sight she was witnessing; Rachel finally noticed her presence up in the balcony and smiled lovingly.

"Hey beautiful! Come bathe with us!"

"No thank you…I'm good here..."

"Mama!" Nico exclaimed when he heard her voice, he looked around desperate but he couldn't find her, which made the rest of them laugh out loud.

"Up here honey!" Rachel said aloud, Ross helped him by rising his chin and the moment his eyes spotted his mommy he smiled widely and started splashing water as he repeated "mama!" over and over again, melting Rachel's heart.

"See? I'm not the only guy who wants you here! C'mon down now!"

"I'm sorry to disappoint my men but mom doesn't feel like swimming today" Ross frowned and looked at Nico.

"C'mon buddy, let's give her the puppy dog eyes, that never fails!" he said to him but loud enough in order for her to hear it. Rachel laughed again.

"I'm sorry but that won't work today."

"Oh C'mon! we miss you here! Do I have to go up there and get you?"

"Do it dad!" Emma encouraged grinning.

"Emma!"Rachel reproached.

"Shall we go get mommy, Nico?" Ross asked him in a funny voice, the baby let out a thrilled scream, his way to say he saw he was serious when he got out of the swimming pool with the baby in his arms.

"Oh no no no no! Ross! don't you dare to come up here!" she threatened him but he was determined to go.

"Emma, stay right here okay?" the girl nodded and saw his father disappear into the house.

Rachel entered her bedroom again, looking for a place where she could hide. But he was too fast and she had no time to even get out of the room as he was already bythe door, looking at her with a naughty smile.

"DON'T" she said pointing at him in a threatening way. "oh my god, Ross you're soaking! Look at the floor!" he looked down and shrugged giving a step forward. "Don't dare to get closer!" she said as she took a step back from him.

"What are you gonna do if I do?" he said with a mischievous grin while baby Nico was blabbing with his arms extended towards his mother, wanting for her to hold him.

"You don't want to find out…" she said in a threatening tone, Ross let out a loud chuckle.

"You have no escape sweatheart…" he said as he walked closer, pushing her towards a corner of their room. With a quick movement he grabbed her with his free hand, causing Rachel to let a loud yelp.

"Ross! Let go of me! You're soaking me!" she demanded in a serious tone while trying to space his tight grip. Nico, who was between the two, giggled along with his father.

"You too Nico? That's not fair" she stopped fighting and stared at them, but soon her face smoothed and a smiled appeared on her lips, she couldn't get mad at them no matter what they did. "Look at my clothes! They're dripping..." she said looking down at her blouse.

"Well, now you don't have any excuse" Ross said smiling victoriously, Rachel sighed.

"Ugh you're such a pain in the ass!"

"But you love me" he said grinning.

"That's what you think" she said sticking out her tongue to him making him frown "now let me hold my favorite little man. "the baby immediately threw his arms around his mother's neck hugging her tenderly. "awww my prince."

"Your favourite man, huh?" he said placing his hands on his sides seeming hurt.

"Yeap" she quickly said faking to be ignoring him while cuddling her son sweetly. She always enjoyed teasing him.

"Give mommy a big kiss" she said rounding her lips for her baby boy, who happily placed a little kiss on them and filled the room with happy baby laughter.

"Hey, those lips are mine!"Ross said frowning.

"Are you jealous of your own son?" Rachel questioned in a chuckle.

"Maybe..."

"You're silly!" she said amused by his expression "for your information this little guy gives me the sweetest kisses in the world" she stated while brushing her nose with the baby's.

"Oh yeah? I bet your little guy can't kiss you like this" he said before pulling of her and surprising her with a wild, breathtaking kiss. Their baby boy, who was between the two, observed them not sure of what they were doing. "Huh? Was that a "sweet" kiss or what?" he said proudly, Rachel smiled and licked her lips, taking a deep breath after that kiss that, although she wouldn't admit it, had made her knees weak.

"You are soooo easy to tease..." she said smiling while placing her free hand on the back of his head and getting on her tiptoes to kiss him again, not caring about his dripping body anymore. He gladly welcomed her lips while his hands encircled her waist and brought her closer. They sunk so much into the kiss that they almost forgot their son was between them, hugging his mama tightly. Ross walked some steps back towards the bed bringing her with him and when his legs came up to the border of the bed he let himself fall backwards with them in his arms.

"Ouch!" He complained when his back collided with a hard surface "what the hell is this?" he said reaching under his back to take the annoying object out. Rachel pressed her teeth together as a sign of guiltiness since she had forgotten the album was there.

Ross looked at it and then to Rachel, questioning with his eyes.

"It's a book…" she said as she tried to get up with the baby in her arms. "I added a little something for you…" she said shyly. He lifted an eyebrow surprised.

"That's why you've been up here almost the entire day?"

"Yeap…" she said while straightening her clothes and start walking.

"Hey hey where are you going? We weren't finished here" he said pouting.

"I'm gonna go downstairs to check on my tornado girl…" she said sweetly running a hand through his wet messy hair. "and bathe this little guy. He has started shivering and I don't want him to catch a cold."

"Okay."

"Hope you like it" she said with a wink. "I'll be waiting for you downstairs for dinner." she added before leaving the room.

He sat up on the bed and looked at the book in a curious way. When he opened the first page he realized it was the album he had made for her, just few weeks before she was diagnosed with cancer. The album was now full of pictures, not half way as he had left it, she had filled it with pictures that summarized the last three years of their lives. He smiled widely and resting his back on the head of the bed he started passing the pages.

The first bunch of pictures was from the first time they were at that house they were now, just after her birthday. They were there only for a week but long enough to fall in love with that place. He smiled, she was glowing of happiness in every picture and he loved that. He knew she had loved that place, away from the big city and every worry, perfect for his family. That's why he decided to buy it for her as a surprise for her latest birthday, three months ago. She had loved it so much that they moved in right that week and they hadn't left yet. He was proud of his own decision since even their kids loved being there. Their main home was still in Manhattan due to their work, but they determined they would spend as much time as possible in that wonderful place.

From the rest of that year weren't many pictures, just some from the very beginning of her treatment, when she was still positive about it and even appeared smiling widely in most of them; the rest of the pictures were from Emma's birthday party in Disneyworld; his eyes illuminated just looking at those pics and how happy his little princess was that day. His eyes fixed on a specific picture, the one he had taken that day: Emma was on Cinderella's arms, hugging her and smiling broadly while Rachel was on her side, smiling the same way. He stared at that picture for several minutes, amazed by how much they looked alike. Even though Rachel always said otherwise Emma was the spitting image of her mother: same thin lips, same joyful smile, same breathtaking blue eyes and same smooth honey-colored hair and as the years passed she looked more and more like her.

He couldn't believe his little girl was going to be 8 very soon, time flew and he couldn't deny he felt kind of nostalgic wishing she was a baby again, but watching her grow up was the most amazing thing.

He observed carefully the rest of the pictures from that day, now he could see her tired expression and a wave of sadness invaded his body, feeling guilty again for not having noticed it back then. If he had he may not have lived those three horrible days, the worst of his whole life. He felt a pinch in his stomach as he remembered her laying in that hospital bed and then her heartbreaking words. Those words coming out of her mouth killed him slowly and painfully; but he had strength enough to fight, he didn't know where it came from but he thanked god he didn't give up insisting.

His eyes watered remembering how hard the two following years were, and how many times he had wished he was the one bearing with all that pain. But she fought, she fought with all her strength against that cancer, and not once had she thought about giving up again. Something that made him feel even prouder of her.

And now there she was, completely recovered. They were given the news about half a year ago, the most thrilling news they had ever received, and her happiness could be seen in the next pictures. Her hair was long again and her gorgeous eyes had gotten its natural shine back.

He smiled from ear to ear with the next pages; which were filled with dozens of pictures of their baby boy Nico. From the very first day they held him when he was only three weeks old to pictures form last week, when he had started giving his first steps alone.

His eyes filled with tears, tears of happiness as he gazed at one of the pictures. It showed Rachel in their bed, just woken up but as beautiful as could be, holding Nico in her arms when he was little older than a month. Emma was kneeling down next to her looking at her baby brother with amazement while stroking his chubby cheek. The happiness showing in Rachel's face was heart-melting; that little person had indeed filled their home with more happiness.

He watched the rest of the pictures in amazement until he got to the last page, where he found a letter which he started reading attentively.

"_Surprised? I hope so :)_

_I was going to continue that beautiful tale you wrote for me a few years ago, but then again I suck at telling tales. So I found this old, incomplete photo album the other day and decided to finish it myself as a thank you. _

_Where do I start from? I have so many things to say and yet I don't know if I am going to be able to put into words what you've been for me these past few years._

_First of all, I love you. I've said it many times and I'll say it over and over again until I lose my breath because that will never change. I've never felt such deep, pure love for anybody else before that's why I know __**this **__is going to be forever. But, above all I admire you. Your strength and courage amazes me every day. If you hadn't been so supportive, holding my hand in the worst moments, fighting even when I had already lost my faith, I wouldn't be here, alive, completely recovered and married to the most amazing guy in the world, with two lovely children that mean the world to me._

_It's still quite unbelievable that we got all that! Who would've said, back when we re-meet in Central Perk many years ago that we would end up married and with two kids. Life is definitely a box of surprises._

_So I thank you to no end for having been by my side, supporting me, giving me the strength I didn't have during those three years I was invaded by that awful bug called "Leukaemia". These years have been the worst of my life as well as the best ones, because they've served me to realize how blessed I am for having you in my life. I have no idea what great thing I did to deserve such a caring, loving, wonderful, handsome (and on and on and on) man as my husband. Yeah! Husband! (I am smiling ear to ear as I write this.) Because who would've thought that my best friend's brother, that boy who got all nervous whenever I entered a room and could barely form a sentence when I talked to him, would propose and marry me? I am so glad he did, because I feel the luckiest woman on the Earth and I cannot wait to share my life with him._

_That beautiful, sunny Saturday we got married was certainly one of the happiest days of my life, seeing you at the end of the aisle, gazing back at me felt so surreal. But it wasn't. It was real and it was amazing._

_But the night I will never forget is that night you came back and told me all the beautiful plans you had for us. You cannot being to imagine how scared I was that day, thinking you'd never return and I had lost you forever and…when I saw you appear through that door, I felt alive again._

_That night as you made love to me I made a new decision: I would fight. I would bear the pain for you, because you deserved it. I needed to fight for all the effort you had made to take care of me, taking days off work to be with me; taking care of Emma most of the time even when your work kept piling up…but none of this kept you from thinking about our future and our present, something I had forgotten to do._

_And then…him, our baby boy despite what blood says. I won't have enough days to thank you for having brought him into my life, our lives. Our lovely son, the boy of my eyes; he stole my heart the moment I held him in my arms, so little, so gorgeous. Thanks to you I have more than I ever imagined having. And if it hadn't been for you and your courage this family may have not existed so…THANK YOU._

_THANK YOU for loving me the way you only know._

_THANK YOU for giving me the most beautiful, wonderful children._

_THANK YOU for standing by me in the rough moments._

_THANK YOU for not giving up, for keeping me sane and giving me the strength to go on._

_THANK YOU for sharing with me the most amazing moments of my life._

_THANK YOU for being my friend, my confident, my lover, my husband and biggest love. I could go on like this for the eternity…but I don't want to bore you so I am going to sum this all up in three words…_

_I LOVE YOU_

_ Emma, Nico and I looooooooooooove you! Don't you ever forget it._

He closed the album teary-eyed, caused by her beautiful, sincere words. That letter had gone straight into his heart.

He sighed deeply, trying to compose himself, he couldn't believe how much he had gotten to love that woman; he had always felt something for her, even the first day he set his eyes on her when he was just a teenager, but now he loved her to a point he never thought it existed. She had all his heart in her hands and loved her so much that he would give anything just to see her happy. She and their two kids were his world, a world he wouldn't trade for anything.

He smiled widely as he heard loud laughter coming from downstairs; Emma seemed to be playing with Nico while Rachel tried to get them to sit on their chairs for dinner. He stood up ready to join them. He put the album carefully on his bedside table, his eyes shining with happiness.

He knew that after that tough moment they had to get through everything would be fine, nothing would break them apart. They would be a happy family forever.

**THE END**

**I hope you have liked it. Thanks for reading.**


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